M.S. PUNCH.

Star (Christchurch), Issue 154, 9 November 1868, Page 3

M.S. PUNCH.

TO THE EDITOR OP THK STAR. Sib, — Local affairs are uncommonly d'il) ; such is the general cry just now. I have hud thfbluea myxelf; I do have them sometimes, particularly when ray shirts have no buttons. Whenever I'm in the blues, I always call upon a friend; if I don't get rid of r)i« megrims myself I give them to somebody else, «ml really there is some pleasure in hem« sympathised with. Your obedient servant, ONE OF THE SEMI-PRIVATES Latest Telegrams. — " At a meptine, yesterday, it was resolved to endeavour to wind up the New Zealand Steam Navi^nt on Company." Being a very heavy concern, we suppose it will be done wit-i sheers, w us to enable the shareholders to sheur cleir of it. Ffioram ok General Govbbnment.— " Thou art a famous General indeed, f>r none so well can make a people bleed." Theatrical. -" Ha 1 say'et thou ?"— Old Play We read, in the Star, that " the phi t of Abel Tinkle fell, of course, to M Joyce-, and he was quite at home in it." — That is i<> sty, he waa Able for the part, and Tinkled away wit h jtreac reJoyceing ! Not so Dustt thkse Tisies ! — The Higley Park "deputation " vrere informed byone of the members of the Domain Bouri ." that the great annoyance of roads id Canterbury was the dust ;" to which the deputation rery promptly replied they were prepared to " come down with the dust," in fust. the residents in the no'thern part of the ciiy had nearly five hundred u;a,y», with which to back up the assertion. \ More Theatrical — The " walking gentleman," a tide given to a comedy lover, ! probably derived from his always having hi.- 1 hat in his hand, as if he would shortly have I to walk off at the instigation of some un- \ reasonable father or t?st> guardian. hYLLOQISMS ACCORDING TO LADIES' LOOIC. — Intemperance i 8 horrible, therefore it is

dreadful. Swearing is ungentlemanlike, therefore it is vulgar. That young man is talented, therefore he is clever. Military. — Do you think the threatening weather of Saturday would be likely to damp the ardour of our gallant volunteers ? Examination Papers (Ist Class). — Who was Apicius ? Apieiu9, a famous glutton in Rome, who ate a leg of mutton and trimmings against Horace, for a trifling wager. There were three of the same name, all famous for their voracious appetites, and it was fortunate that they did not all live in the name reign, for if they had all flourished and gormandised together, k famine might have been the consequence. The second was this most illustrious, for he wrote a cookery book, which iiiclu ied a celebrated recipe for hashing a hecatomb. After dissipating all his fortune in eating, he went and hanged himself, like a greedy boy who had spent all his money in tarts and went into a corner to cry hia eyes out.