WHICH IS THE MORE DESIRABLE QUALITY: CANDOUR OR COURTESY ?

Otago Witness, Issue 2762, 20 February 1907, Page 77

WHICH IS THE MORE DESIRABLE QUALITY: CANDOUR OR COURTESY ?

(Being a. paper read at a debate of th<» DL.F. Cub.) I COURTESY.

TJwo spirits are always following me about : tb.3 name of one is ' Candour and tbe other ia Courtesy. Candour, bluff, 'good-humoured, v open and honest of countenance, and with no hidden Jires, strides along beside me. Courtesy bows and smiles, looks up into a.y face knowingly, glides gently along, pick*ii? her way with dainty feet beside me, and careful, too, not to jostle anyone. Candou:, on tie other hand, Fcenis to be most happy when bumping against someone. Presently I meet ruy dearest friend, who has a very goc-d opinion of herself " Oh, my dear, tow do you like my new hat?" Candour, in « stage whisper, says- "Tell her you -think it locks hideous. You krow quite well it does not suit her." But Courtesy steps to my Bide, whispers in my ear: "Sm'ie; tell her liow nice she looks; don't hurt her feelings ty ad.'erse criticism. " 'Now, what am I to do? If I follow tho advi'.e of CandouT, I shall probibly be the poorer by two handfula of hair, and I shall loso a friend. On tlie other hanfl, if I speak as Courtesy bids me, I lose -my self-respect, for no one can diverge from the truth, a hr.ir's breadth without losing a little of his self-respect, i'et Courtesy wins. Now, comrades, I'll be candid with you and tell you that I have a pet corn. The ether day, as I was trying to extricate myself from a crowd, someone stepped on my corn. At once Candour sprang to my side and said: "Tell them to be more careful nert time! Tell ihera to keep out of yoftr way! Give ■them ' a piece of your mind.' " But Courtesy, iiavely smiling, whispered to me: "Now, what good do you think it will do to ssy what you ihink? It won't do much for you, <md it will make that poor old lady wuo trod on your foot feel annoyed and enil>«rrassed. No; tell her it was nothing at all. Smile, and '-ray you did not feel it. ' 'And I follow Courtesy's advice, and the eld sady goes away with a ha-ppy, relieved smile, Tfhile I have {he satisfaction of knowing .that her clumsiness was felt only by one person. So, chnms, if one -wants to make enemies by aH means let him be candid; if he would have- numerous acquaintances and friends, if be would be popular, let him have one-fifth candour and four-fifths courtes> ; by which admixture you will see that I consider that, .thcugh candour ia necessary, courtesy is th* jnore desirable. By being oandid one gams the respect of nil noble-minded people, retains, too, one's own self-respect; but he- loses the friendship of ail bis acquaintances ii he has that

quality in excess and if he has not also courtesy. The average man haa a, great number of faults of which he \s humbly conscious, but which he believes are hidden from other people's eyes. These the, candid man will drag to light and inform him of, thereby wounding him moie than if tliete fsults had b^en wholly, imaginary, for it is the knowledge of their truth which stings. Courtesy, on the other hand, if properly n-suiaged, enables us to make each person pleased with himself, and, a.9 a, natural sequence, with us also. No one's feelings are hart by courtesy (by which I do noii mean flattery), and we continue to command the same amount of respect frcrn the advocates of candour. It is only through the world's imperfections that candour au.d courtesy 'can bold such high places in the catalogue of virtues : yet, even in the event of man becoming perfect, courtesy would take but a slighuly lower place, while candcur would become ni-e-ely a negative virtue practised because to do otherwise would bs impossible. VENETIA CORONA, D.L.F.