UP AND DOWN THE SEAS. CARE OF FEEBLE MINDED.

New Zealand Herald, Volume LXI, Issue 18711, 17 May 1924, Page 10

UP AND DOWN THE SEAS.

CARE OF FEEBLE MINDED.

SHIPS ALWAYS " ENGLAND."

YARNS FROM THE NAVY.

WHEN THE SAILOR LAUGHED.

Talk to the sailors one chances to meet "° d ,aT SfS&h Na^ W fTtM rttte Special S»™ica Squad™ Tui iT'i.'Sv S! there aro hundreds now within Tiniftf'SVS? matoly as a man knows his own town. By ffae tune a man has done 20 years ser ] Son' 6 gJBfiUSA*' J | Bock," meaning Gibraltar; of Naples an Madrid of Malta and Bombay. But; never has he come within a thous and miles of the kingdom of the cosmo--1 politans. His ship has always been al ttle i piece of England: he " calls old England * home.* " He fcnaw. the great port* of the world, and the ways of the Seven Seas, but when he talks of Gillingham or " Pompey," or "the village, , or , ° lie centre in Surreysjd© or some > hamleti in the shires, one knows that it is there he dwells in spirit. And who shall question the assertion that in this deep-rooted ! undying love of a particular part' of the 'sailor's own country, something of tthe ! secret of Britain's greatness is found. He ; loves to talk of ,r home," and if he re- . cards you as worthy he will show you photographs that have almost the sacred character of a shrine. But it is interesting beyond all measure when he is persuaded to talk of his voyaging. He rarely talks about the great war: usually it crops up incidentally when " the funniest thing I ever saw " is fold. At a Bull Fight. " The funniest thing " one sailor now in Auckland ever saw was at a bull fight ip Snain The bull was too tired or too frightened to fight, and the audience was disgusted and " booed " the animal. It I was regarded as unworthy of the national ' sport. Then the unexpected happened, _ A British blue-jacket appeared in the ring, and wil/h a bottle in his hand charged the bull from the rear. The astonished animal ran, and the sailor ran, and the roar of applause made the matadors very sulky. v Another yarn concerned a tired _ old ' lion and a sailor. It was at a circus, and a reward of five pounds was offered to any one who would step inside l<he cage. Probably the circus people believed their money to be quite safe, but the sailor said * the lion was too _ sorry for himself to hurt a fly, so disregarding warnings entered the cage and quickly established cordial relations with y the beast, which he pushed over before returning to collect his " fiver." | " Willie Fisher." 1 " Uncle Willie " Fisher, a kinsman of " Jackie," provided the funniest incident in another man's career. On the ship there was a " regular bad hat," who was constantly in trouble. On this occasion " Uncle Willie " took an entirely new line with him. You seem to be too full of beans to behave yourself on board," he said. "If I give you 48 hours' leave do you think you can come back sober The man looked most uncomfortably perplexed. "If 48 hours is not enough, how would 72 do?" Ku'd " Uncle Willie." The man stuttered out that he had no money, and was ii debt to everyone. " I'll lend you £2." said i " Uncle Willie," and forthwith tho man ; was sent on leave. Ha returned sober, ; never had another black mark against i him, and finished the commission as a petty officer, and the best seaman m the ship. 1 ■ , Blue-jacket and Marine. An officer tells his funniest incident.

At divisions a' hurrying marine cannoned inlb a blue-jacKet, who delivered himself as follows: " Always knew the marine was a hagile sort of a bird, nimbly 'oppin' from twig to twig in his blankay 'ob-nailed boots." A very improper remark to make on parade, but the owner of the small passionate voice was not identified. "Was on a destroyer in the Mediter ranean during the war," said a petty officer, " and we were on hand when a steamer was torpedoed. We had F.N.T. depth charges hung around us—a pretty string of beads— all hands were ready to hand one to the submarine. But the steamer had had some live pigs on her deck and we had been living on hard tack. Some of the pigs were swimming about, and one of our chaps got a noose and hung over the side to try and lassoo one. When he thought he might miss his pig he signalled to the man at the wheel to So a little to port), and over she went, and e got the pig. Funny having a pig hunt on the water in the middle of a submarine hunt, but' it happened." The pig was much appreciated. Before long parts of him were being roasted on shovels in the boiler room, and the fumes were so appealing to an extremely hungry officer up above that he immediately sent for " a large piece of pork." - , • There was a tale of the Persian Gulf} where a pinnace pursued a sailing craft, suspected to be a gun runner. No arms oould be found, but she was beached, and cases of rifles were found attached to the outside of the hall, below the water-line.

Armistice Night Episode. One heard once again of the English professor of dead languages,, who was given a commission in the Navy and placed in command of a band of professional Greek brigands, whose task was to raid th© coast of Asia Minor for cattle of gay doings on Armistice night, when . at one Mediterranean port an individual J whose rank need not be mentioned took 'command of an electric train and forgot to stop at stations, and also forgot t/he hour when ha was ordered to sail for Alexandria, where he was to deliver a bishop. What the bishop said about being forgotten is not recorded, but possibly even bishops are not entirely proof against the thrill of an Armistice night. Most mortals have to be content with a routine life, in which the " crowded ! hour " of which the poet sings, comes ! very rarely. To the sailor it comes fre- ■ quently, but he rarely becomes blase even under the exactions of a " swagger cruise." He exploits the fleeting hour or endures it cheerfully.

THE GOVERNMENT INQUIRY.

SUPPORTED IN HAMILTON.

[BY XKLEQUAPH.— coaRESPornjEUT.I HAMILTON, Friday, l At a meeting at Hamilton convened by . 1 Mr. S. Lye, president of the Waikato | sub-provincial executive of the New Zea--1 ' land Farmers' Union, the question of ■: dealing with perverts and degenerates was j discussed, and A motion was carried ex- . ! pressing appreciation of the action of the ■ j Government in constituting a committee 1 to inquire into the care and treatment'of I the feeble minded and sexual perverts 'in New Zealand, and hoping that full recognition of the state of moral imbecility would be embodied in the criminal code, , those- convicted not to be treated •as ; ordinary criminals, but to be relegated i to a home for special treatment.