Our Babies

Northern Advocate, 17 March 1939, Page 9

Our Babies

(By "HYGEIA") Published under the auspices of the Royal New Zealand Society for the Health of Women and Children (Plunket Society). "It is wiser to put up a fence at the top of a precipice than to maintain an ambulance at the bottom." THE OBEDIENT CHILD In quoting the following address from the English journal, Mother and Child, we hope it will prove both interesting and instructive to our readers: Introductory Note Of all the problems of parenteral, that of teaching the child "to do what he is told" is one of the most difficult and most important. We are often assured that unquestioning obedience, based 021 fear, was the rule in households of the Victorian era. This generalisation is probably far from accurate, and it is time someone took up the cudgels on behalf of the Victorian parents, who lacked neither affection for nor understanding of their children. Be that as it may, the pendulum has now apparently swung in the other direction, and parents of to-day are mere inclined to ask of themselves hc-vft: little obedience, rather than how much, they should expect from their children. There is no kindness in releasing a child from all need to obey instructions. For the.sake of the welfare of all, members of any community whether lower animals as well as an beings—are required to obey certain' rules. It is right for the parent to insist on obedience where the few really important things are Concerned, though it is wrong to set up a tyranny of petty rules which the child is expected to obey without question.. It is dangerous to cow a child into obedience. The cowed child cannot acquire independence, which is so necessary to happiness in adult life; he cannot think for himself.

Subject Matter

Many a mother worries when, her toddler will not do as he is told. She wonders whether she ought to be very stern with him for his naughtiness or to take no notice of it. It is not always ea’sy for her to know the best way to deal with him. It may comfort her to know that sometimes, when he seems to be very perverse, he is not really being naughty on purpose! A mother who expects her little child to obey her always, without question, is bound to be disappointed. Indeed, it is not wise to expect unfailing obedience from a toddler of two or three years old for several reasons. For example, the toddler does not always understand what his mother wants him to do. He is very young, too young to know why he should obey his mother. The Important Things It is never a good plan to nag at a little child in order to make him, obey you. There are a great many things that do not matter very much—do not worry about such little things. Do not make lots of rules about them and worry if those rules are not kept. But there are a few important things, and it is right for mother to expect obedience from her child always in those important matters. Here are some of the important things; 1. Going to bed at a regular hour and getting up at a regular hour. 2. Eating meals regularly. 3. Going to the lavatory regularly. 4. Tidying away his playthings. 5. Never playing out in the street or* the road where traffic is dangerous. Decide in, your own mind what things you consider important. Keep them very clearly before you, and always expect your toddler to obey in those things. Do not give way or be slack in your expectations one day and tighten up the rules the next. It is a tremendous help to the little child to know where he is with life. Capricious, uncertain treatment bewilders him, and very naturally makes him more inclined to go his own way than the way his mother thinks he ought to go. Sometimes a mother asks her child to do something and then forgets all about it. She does not'remember to see that what she has asked has been done. The result is that the child soon learns that he need not trouble to obey, because mother does not notice whether he obeys or not.

Do not punish a child for disobeying. First find out what lies at the back of his disobedience. He may not have heard you speak—either because he was too much engrossed ini what he was doing to pay any attention, or for some other reason. In any case, it is very rarely wise to "punish" in the ordinary sense. To "manage" is a much better way of dealing with a child. Here is yet another possible reason for disobedience. A little child is often disobedient when he is tired. A tired child can scarcely help being cross and cantankerous. Make sure that your toddler gets his afternoon sleep regularly every day, that he goes to bed early and at the same time every day. nn'HE body of Mr Frederick Walter J. Talbut, aged 61, an employee of the Hutt railway workshops, of 51 Kensington Avenue, Petone, was discovered by a railway employee underneath a. bridge behind the workshops at 9.30 a.m. yesterday. He had been under medical attention.