A "GENTLEMAN'S" LYRICS.

Lyttelton Times, Volume V, Issue 236, 3 February 1855, Page 4

A "GENTLEMAN'S" LYRICS.

[We are tempted to publish the following effusion, in order to Rive our readers some idea of the style of some of the contributions which we are expected to publish. In selecting a specimen we naturally give precedence to a "Gentleman."] To the Editor of the Li/ttelton. Times. Sib, —I shall feel obliged by your inserting in your paper a few linei;, which" I' think will show how much I dislike smoking, snuff-taking and such like detestable habits. 1 beg that you will not think I dislike them for the look of "the thing, even that is enough to disgust some people, but it is that they both ruin the constitution, and also lead to a great deal of drinking, which we all know is a very great evil, and which I am very desirous of seeing abolished. SONG Upon his mouth may curses fall, May it be dead to savour : His mellow fruits be cinders dry, His wines devoid of flavour ; His bread be sawdust in his jaws, And may his teeth so black, o — Turn all his sweets to bitter sour— The wretch who chews tobacco! Upon his nose may curses light, May odours ueyer charm it ; May garden-flowers, mid woods and bowers Yield noxious scents to harm it. May all Arabia's spice exhale Foul gas to make it suffer, Who makes a dust-hole of his mouth— The vile tobacco snuffer. May never lady press his lips, His*proffered love returning, Who makes a furnace of his mouth And keeps its chimney burning ! May each true woman shun his sight, For fear his fumes might choke her, And none but hags, who smoke themselves, Have kisses for a smoker! I could say more, but I hope what I have said, may suffice. I am, Sir, Your most humble servant, A Gentleman.

To the Editor of the Lytteltnn Times. Sir, —At a meeting last night called a meeting of the inhabitants of Lyttelton, I missed so many of the usual Lyttelton faces that it may hot oe amiss to notice, for the information of their owners, one or two of the events of tin; evening. The Chairman, located on a table on a dais or raised floor, was supported on either hand by very important personages indeed in the town of'Lyttelton, while th« common people were seated on benches in different parts of the Hall. The Chairman's opening address (and indeed all his .addresses and speeches, which weie very numerous) were fust-rate—Lyttelton to the backbone! He made some capital hits at the simplicity of the countryfolk on the plains, who tnke so long to make up their minds about the Land Regulations, and discuss the matter so much, and he also administered some clever pats on the back to his fellowtownsmen, whose superior brightness and intelligence would enable th"m to settle the matter at once. I was amused to see the reception of a bumpkin from the plains, who came in to see what was going on. The chairman seemed-to have as quick a scent for a countryman as he has fur tobacco (of which I am told he is very fond). He soon twigged this unfortunate cove, and after a " Fe.fi, fo,fum. " I smtill th« blood of 11 ChristeliDrch man," intimated that he had better not attempt to speak, a proceeding which the countryman seemed to contemplate as little as did the bench upon which he was seated. I was rather sorry for this, as I thought it might have helped to settle the question properly if we had heard a little.of the experience of people on the Plains, who huvu to do with farming, stock, runs* and

so on. However, I suppose we know what is best for Lyttelton. Tli«:e was a long string of resolutions, but the clluiMiaii said all the talk had been behind the scenes where the different points bad been agreed upon, and that these resolutions were the lesult of a compromise. I thought this ra ther strange,- and was disappointed at it as I wanted to know the reasons for some of these proposals. Also what different people thought ;ibout them. Perhaps also the Provincial Council might wish this. However if'the stage managers agreed behind the scenes they differed when the curtain drew vp1 and displayed to the enlightened British public the worthy trio at the table. One of them looked very savage about pre-emptive ri"-lits, another pouted and said he could have nothing to do with the petition to the Provincial Council, embodying the resolutions of the evening. In fact when at last it came to a wind up, one person objected to this resolution, another to that, and a third to the other, so that it seemed as if the petition would require to be well worded if it was to have many signatures. I was puzzled for a long time to know why so many of those present did not vote at all, but it was explained afterwards by one gentleman who suggested that some of them were not particularly well qualified by their general occupation and experience to decide all those important questions. This seemed to me very true, but it had never "struck me before. I also fancied the non-voters were rather afraid, because they thought from the speeches they heard that all the land regulations were being settled there and then, and that although they would afterwards be sent to the Provincial Cuuncil to l»o ratified, such ratification would be mere . matter of form. Altogether I spent a very pleasant evening, but I think the chairman might have allowed smoking. I remain your obedient servant, A Working Settler.