THE CHANGING SCENE

Dominion, Volume 2, Issue 330, 17 October 1908, Page 6

THE CHANGING SCENE

A VIEW.

(Br.M.CX) A Pajmerston paper says:—"Sir Joseph's visit at this juncture, to- Palmerston and • Feilding to• answer- recent criticisms and expound the Government policy is an event of national .importance. The Opera House is certain, to ibe taxed to its uttermost capacity." Like the rest of us.

It is being'stated, in connection with a large bookselling enterprise now before the public, that "a calculation recently made shows that the purchaser in New Zealand of books' published at : a guinea and similar, high prices obtains an of only 739 words for a penny.". Cannot "Hansard" be elevated to the guinea class?

'And then camo .some photographs from Bring women, models whose figures would probably be best described as svelte. They were certainly very willowy in outline—tall, not lingraoeful; broad in the shoulders, no hips,,to, speak of, and, clad, in tight-fitting jflresses, that fitted them like gloves. The doctor disclosed a secret. "Don't you know how this is done?" he asked. "You never saw a woman in real life like that—a cavity where convexity should be I No; it is done by the photographer. It is skilfully done, I admits In short, it is effected by retouching to give an appearance which is fashionable." The doctor then explained how photographers blocked , out any suggestion of natural rotundity just to please their fitters,' because a natural figure was not fashionable.—Report of a lecture by. Dr. Jtttby , King.

She was trying on a corset When Bhe dawned upon my view; I felt some physio force—it Was Love's arrow passing through. She,- the Pearl of all the Ages Had arrived upon the scene In the advertising pages Of a shilling magazine. Ever'fiercer grew my passion, And I followed like a dog As she tripped her way through "Fashion" And the Summer Catalogue, j - For her beauty I was thirsting,' And I cut her picture out, Till I filled well-nigh to bursting Fifty scrap-books large and stout. Tender sometimes, sometimes mocking, As became the moment's mode, Now a foot of faultless stocking,' Now a perfect arm she showed. From her ankle' to her profile . Quite incomparably svelte s Only ardent lovers so feel As your humble servant, felt. Of convex and dowdy Helen I would let the others rave; Grace and beauty only dwell in Figures daintily concave. Long I've borne.her face and figure Ineffaceably impressed On the hot heart, swelling bigger. Burning brighter, 'neath my vest. Vainly, vainly have I sought her Over hills find over dales, Night and day, on land and water, In, the churches, at the sales. Now I find ,that she's a figment^ That I've thrown away my heart On a dream of ink and pigment", iOn'<*a fancy work of art. Be it so! Though circumstances .Have decieed that I should weave Shining webs of i fair romances Bound an artist's make-believe, " Yet .I'll tell myself I'll meet her On the lee-side of the gravel Grown more willowy,. curvier, sweeter, More adorably, concave.

"Well, Hinnissy," said Mr. Dooley, "I see that me frind .Bill Massoy has no policy. Despite, his, clare eyesight, induced be watchin' th' Avon t'see which way it's flowin', a Christ-' church editor says Bill has no policy, but he opposes it, annyway." "Has he anny polioy?" asked Mr. Hentiessy. , . "He has not. He has only, got idees, an' ■wan iv his idees is that a number iv planks ■make a platform.' 'I favour,' he says, 'th' abolition iv th' rule that if ye knew Dick Seddon ye must get a billet,' he says. 'I favour;' 1 also, th'.grantin'-'.iv th' right t'.lay that 'twas .yere own lan' that grew, th' corrn, an' I favour, a scheme that will not make it necessary f'r Wairarapa t' swallow Horrnsby, as they had t' do f'r fear that they won't get a share iv th' spoil,' he 'saya. 'An' so on, an' poor Bill thinks that that's a policy. 'What's this?' says the Christchurch man. 'What's this? Freehold, a Civil Service Boarrd, th' repeal iv th' Public Revenues Ac', railway reforrm, public wurrks reform,' an' he reads ,th' list. ■|What's this?'he says.. 'Why,' says he, "tis just maundherin's'an' I can't see anny-policy in it,' he says. 'But,' he says, 'let us turrn t' thy gran' policy iv me frind Joe Warrd. Number wan: th' encouragement iv everything ; number two: th' _ bes' interests iv all; number' three: th' tin comman'ments; number four: blow th' expinse; number 'five: never forget a friend's vote; number six: progress; number Biven: onwarrd; number eight: upwarrd. That's a clare-cut policy f'r ye,' he says. 'Th' fac' is, Jawn,'me frind Bill is'nt thurly Lib'ral. If ye're thur'lv Lib'ral, Jawn, ye will see a plank in th' polish iv me frind Joe's boots—a policy, Jawn, that ye will embrace. Ye will see a whole system' iv Gov'mint where th' ignorant non-Lib'ral can only see a statemint that might do f'r th' head iv a- copy-book ■ or a motto f'r a fried-fish stall, or a name f'r a picture or a war-cryJ'r a thravellin' futball team. T'th' thrue Lib'ral ye need only say 'I stan' f'r th' Guv'mint'an' greatness,' an' ho will blame ye f'r overloadin' ye're speech with detail, ,an' urrge yo t' dhrop some iv ye'ro platforrm. Mo frind Bill only wants things done, an' nowadays, in these thur'ly Lib'ral days, th' man with th' policy is tth' man who scorrns definite fac's an' opinions." "Why. does th' Christchurch editor oppose Bill?.", asked Mr. Hennessy. "Because he has too much policy. F'r th' same reason that ye wud oppose a helpless, onarmed man carryin' a gun an' a meat-axe."

"The tho other day published this interesting item of news:—"The Cologne Accident Insurance Company has decided to grant insurance policies to tho&e who take part'in aerial journeys in balloons. The insurance commences on the persons entering the balloon : baskot or car, and will cease as soon as the insured have left the basket or car." Whereupon "Punch" remarked: — "Unfortunately, _that is often just the moment, when tho insurance is really needed." "Punch" was a, little premature. On Tuesday a cable message reported that an American balloon began to drop like a stone when it had reached a height of .4000 feet. As it fell, tho envelope bulged, and, acting as a parachute, slowly descended and,collapsed on a high building, the envelope' hanging over one side of the roof r ridge and balancing the basket on. the other. The occupants of tho basket then climbed on to the roof, and came downstairs. "The whole incident," said the captain of the balloon, "shows how safe ballooning is." And yet people will go on driving in cabs and travelling in trains and being ill on board ship and risking death on • the tramcars. Tho Cologne Insurance Company will shortly go into liquidation, for who will pay. for insurance against death in tho only circumstances that keep.death at bay? .Instead,, we shall have a wohlesale abandonment of the more perilous modes of transit and the deadlier kinds of sport. The Rev. Mr. Smith, who risks his life on the Sydney Golf Links in his ambition to kill birds, will perhaps cling to his daredevil pursuits. But the rest of us will seek safety in the air. Bill Squires may even 1 abandon boxing when he satisfies himself that ballooning is even safer than the ring, and more suitable for a man who likes

to take life easily, and live to a green old age. All you have to do when you are suffering from over-strain is to got into a balloon and shut your eyes, and you will wake to find yourself admiring the exquisite view from tho top of the destructor chimney'. Then you will get down, and brave tho perils of tho Btreet once moro.

"He would support the Government, but ha would reserve to,-himself tho right to criticise whore he considered them mistaken." —Ministerial candidates everywhere.

Good-bye to the day of the dummy! To dog-like devotion, good-bye! The member as mnte as a mummy. Except for a "No" or an "Aye," A-hero;at lost has.-become: he .Is causing "a t glorious stir, For'he'll vote with the "Noes" if An "Aye" for Sir Joseph Would merely assist him to err.

Of old, it would frequently happen That a dummy would \*aken and vote On the blind, and return to his nap in A rug and a Chesterfield coat. , A trusty, mechanical chap in ' These shifty and changeable days; He'd only one hobby: To be in the lobby The Premier happened to grace. He has riven the ring of his thraldom, He threatens to make us forget The name that so painfully galled him: The "Minister's marionette." We'll 'take back the names that we called him, We'll see, with .'a feeling of pride, How,.ignoring,'.the tip Of: the Government Whip, He will vote on the opposite side. In future, he says.rhe'll give loose to • The thoughts that arise in his mind, For he'll think, which he never was used to, And vote as his heart is inclined. Which,'of course,-would be terrible news to Sir Joe, were it not that he knows That the breaking of chains In election campaigns Is the usual triennial pose, And this man,, full of sand, ■ Will • feed from his hand Ere the Parliament comes to a close. •