UMBRELLAS.

Auckland Star, Volume LX, Issue 258, 31 October 1929, Page 8

UMBRELLAS.

TYPES THAT CARRY THEM.

THEIR RELATION TO CLOTHES

A STUDY IN PERSONALITY,

(By F.C.J.)

It lias been said that the way a man walks is an index to his character. The same may be said of the way he carries an umbrella. To the succesful business man the umbrella is a sort of a "rod and a staff," which he carries as the hall-mark of self-satisfied complacency. The umbrella must, of course, be faultlessly folded, and —not carried, worn would perhaps be the best word—with the same air as his nicely tailored suit. It is part of himself, and his general air of well-being. The carrying is not, however, ostentatious. This slim length of shining silk is not thrust under the nose with the forceful air of "observe me, you must." Its owner and it are one, and from it radiates the knowledge that any homage paid to the successful business man must also be paid to it. Types in Ostentation. There is, of course, the ostentatious kind, but even here there are two divisions. The junior in the office forgets his coat and perforce has to use the firm's umbrella. Now, youth has . a rooted objection to umbrellas. The office boy knows he cannot slink along the side streets, because he has to collect the mail at the post office, so he adopts the opposite extreme. He swaggers along the way swinging his affliction with a gay and careless air, which proclaims it is the most natural thing in the world for a small boy to carry a large umbrella. And the umbrella knows! Old and worn as it is, it becomes young again. Youth should never be folded tight Tip, so it is just as well there is no fastener. There is a distinct chance for jauntinesa in carelessly flapping folds. TJie silk is not shimmering, for it is old, but youth, world-worn, is accepted merely as blase. The firm's umbrella has, in its time, played many parts, the acts being all the ages. The really snobbish umbrella should be carried by the bejewelled hand, ancj_, should be folded just beyond perfection. It is probably "chubby" to suit the chubby little person carrying it. The little dog's head which forms tlie handle positively snaps at the passer-by. The umbrella is not swung, but carried under the arm, the handle all ornament, the umbrella no protection.

A Weapon of Offence.

Undoubtedly a most effective weapon of offence is the umbrella. Suffragettes or pugnacious old men usually carry them, and the handle is a weapon invariably crooked. It has to be to hook things. The umbrella assumes a "lean and hungry look. 5. It is scarcely so much a length of smooth silk as a long pointed stick with a very sharp end. Quailing traffic inspectors know the type, when an efficiently brandished umbrella seems positively to demand that all traffic ceases while its' owner crosses the street. Sarah Gamp always carried an umbrella, and she is the type that terrorises motormen when they fail to stop trams at exactly the right place. The umbrella in such cases may be folded or not —there is no fixed rule; but wildly waving flaps of silk are more in keeping with windmill arms. The folded effect is one of slender keenness, like a Toledo blade. The person carrying an . aggressive, folded umbrella always means business. Probably he is a keen-faced man himself. All detectives who conform to type should carry folded umbrellas. Now, the person of windmill arms is generally one ■ whose words speak louder than his deeds, and in the same way flapping wings of silk create -great commotion, but do little damage. It is just the difference between the blustering fellow and the quiet-faced hero in the story. Shylock in the hall of justice elapsed his staff as a friend in a friendless place. Meek little old people of faded personalities cling to their umbrellas in just the same way. The frail old lady who asks a favour of tlie business magnate feels that her .umbrella is a very present help in time of trouble. Nervous young men smoke cigarettes as a cloak to their feelings, but uncertain old men merely hold fast to their umbrellas. Such umbrellas are always worn, and have an uncared for appearance. What is a mere hole in an umbrella when both it and its owner have grown old together. These old'friends are also worn rather than carried, as also they are, in a different way, "a rod and a staff." Reality. Then, finally, there is the type carried neither as an ornament nor as a completion to the toilet, but as an umbrella. If youth carries this sort, then youth steps out unashamed of its company with a free stride. The weather is probably wild, and the heavens about to weep, but youth lifts its face to the wind and cares not a jot. Purposefully grasped by the handle, the umbrella is made to feel its subordinate position, but it also has its own air of purpose. Swung freely at each stride, it seems to skip along like Mercury's winged stick. There is a keenness in the crook of the handle like the beak of a hawk. Here is no sham, no pride in a slimness of shape or sheen of silken covering; and the pattering of the rain on the tauted open surface is the beating of the drums to the battle of reality.