JOCK WABSTER’S ADVENTURES IN SEARCH OF CHEAP LODGINGS.

Western Star, Issue 52, 7 November 1874, Page 7

JOCK WABSTER’S ADVENTURES IN SEARCH OF CHEAP LODGINGS.

Maister Editur, —I gied yo a screed a eurren’weeks syne o’ my experiences the first Saturday nicht I wis. in your big toon, an’ as ye were guid enough tee preut my epistle on that occasion I wis unco prood, ye may be sure. I tauld ye p* a’ that I saw- an’ what befel me on that unlucky nicht, an’ noo I mean tae tell yo a’ some nmir adventures I hue met wi’ in “ Bonnie Dundee ” sin’ that time* I may as weel remark in passing, as oor minister the worthy Mr Blethers used tae say in his sermon sometimes, that ray guid auld watch that gaed for the Oret time on that eveufu” nicht, has never fund the road back tae my possession yet, although the bobbies hae dune their very best tae find oob baith it an’ the loon* I hae neither seen hilt nor hair o’ either o’ them frae that day tae this. Howsomever, grumblin’ winna mend things that's bi’oken, an’ fat caana be cured maun juist be endured, if a body whan in trouble o’ ony kind wad console t'aeinsels wi’ sic like philosophical rejections it wad be a better warld than it is.

But tae come tae the suhjek matter o’ my present discoorse withoot gaeii ony mair aboot the buss. Sin’ ye last heard frae yer humble servant, I hae become a citizen o’ Dundee* Ye’ll »a cloot be surprised tae hear that, but it’s a fact nevertheless. No tae summer an’ winter aboot the matter I may juist as wcel tell ye that I got a berth i’ the toou, an’ mair betoken that very day on vvhilk I lost my.ticker 1 had come tae Dundee tae settle aboot the job. So ye see Jock Wabster’s a householder, a ratepayer, an’ in due coorse he'll be ane o’ the electors i’ this important burgli, an* hue a vote for twa members o’, Parliament' an’ G-udo kens hoo mony Biiillies an” Toon Councillois forbyc. Is na’that something tae be. prood o’, an’ dae ye no think I feel izho respeok duo-tae mysel* and the responsibility a’ inv position, noo that a Hit frae the kiatra has rawed me frae a condition o.’ political slavery tae that o’ a enlichtonpd voter ? But a’ this hasna been gained withoot a deal o’ trouble, baith o” body an’ min’, an’ noo that I’m sittin’ ance-mair-under my ain vine an’fig-tree, nano daurin” tae mak” me- afraid, or in ither wirds, settle doon i” peace an’ comfort at my ain fireside.. I hae-made up my min’ tae wreato a,brief accoont o’ the troubles on’ trials, o’ a countryman setthn! i’ the-toon.

Whan I got appointed tae the situation, I bad taeleave the-wife i’ the kiatra, an’ come tao tlio toon mysel’. It’s neither comfortable nor economical for a.rnarried man tae be living in ne place an’ his. wife in anither, but wirkiu’ fo.uk hae tao pit up wi’ a hantlc o’ discomforts for the sake o’ a job o’ vvark., I cudna get hooso : at the time- as. it wis atween terns, so I had tae tnk’ lodgin’S. and wait wi’ patience. Some great man—l’in no- buik-learnt enough tae be able tae tell his. name, but that’s neither here nor there—he- wis a great man., tak’ my wird for’t, an’ he said truly that poverty mak’s.the acquaintance o’strange bedfellows ; an’ I. ken it’s, true tae my ain experience. In lookin’ oot for- lodgin’s, it behoved mo tae consider the lenth o’ my purse ■neck on-pay nicht. An’ as the lenth o’ my purse : is oot o' a’ proportion tae the space filled wi’ the Billers yo may judge there wisna muckle tao gang . an’ come on after scndin’ the sillajr- hame tae k.p.ep the’ wife an’ bairns, tae.-p'ao for bed an’

boord. “iTe canna. aifford tae pay mubkle fbf lodgin’s, an’ ye’ll no need tae be very particular,” wis the wise advice o’ my frenf Tain Soutar,, In fact, I wis as fully alive tae the necessity o’ practisin’ a rigid economy as Tam wis fit tae teli me, an’ I had made up my min’ tae pit up wi’ onything i’ the shape o’ a bed tae lie on in a biggit land o’ ony kin’.. After seekin’ aboot here ah' there, I got lodgin’s wi’ Mrs M'Penny, an, auld widow wife, at the sms’ charge o’ auchteen.pence a week. The appearance o! the Loose, baith ootside an’’ inside, wisna very inviting ; but the price o’ the bed wis a. matter o’ some consideration, an ? - so I tuk the lodgin’S. Mrs MTenny’s hoose situated in, a narrow close whilk had a waugh smell ’at didna ’gree weel wi’ my nose, no bein’ accustomed tae the thing at first. Wo had tae climb tvva stairs, ane o’ them a gude stane ootside erection, only as the rayil had gaen amissin’, it behoved a person tae tak’ tent tae his feet i’ the dark: ; Inside o’ the biggin’ a rotten tim’er staircase, wi’ a greasy tow cord for a han’ rail, led ye up tae the flat whaur, amou’ a-half-dizzen o’ doors or sae, we discovered the ane we were in quest o’, after rappin’ at ilka ane but the richt ane. The guid wife, whan wo tauld oor errant, bade’s come in very cevily, an’ she wad’s, let’s see the room whaur I wis tae sleep alang wi’ a youn’ chappie ’at she said had been, a lodger wi’her for a sax month an’ mair., “Hewis a daintie chappie,” she said, “ an’ we wad get on fine tbegither, only he took a dram whiles, but he was nane the waur o’ that.” I made na remark on that head, but resolved that I wad tak care that he drank nane o’ my siher. After 1 speerin’ awheen questions aboot what I wrocht at ain ither things ’at I thocht she had na busii wi’, she. took doon the paraifn lamp frae aff the chimney-piece au’ said she wad lat me see the room*. A room,! aye, she ca’d it a room, but it wis namuckle-bigger than a sentry-box, an’ had neitlier-firepla.ee nor-winder in’t ’at loud see. The furniture o’ this-, bandbox consisted o’ a laudin' doon bed, an’’ whan it wis lajd doon i’ the iluro there wis only a bit strip- o’.' sax,: inches af-vvesn the bed an’ the wa’ for a body, tae stand olu. Thinks I, there’s no muckle room, for- fechtin,’’ here ony way, an’ if w,e-dae fa’ oot, well hao-tae-gae- ootside tae settle- the- dispute.. H-ooev.er,- as I- said afore, X took the- lodgi-n’s for- a, trial, an.’ if I didna like the place, I cud juist flit again..

I took possession o’ my new: quarters that very nicht, an’ after biddin’’ Tam Soutar guid nicht at -the fut o’ the close—for. he had put himsel’ to a deal o’ fash on- my accoont —I gropit my way up the stairs - tae Mrs M'Penny’s. Tired eneuch, I sat doon, on what I took for a creepy stool, tae tak- a, smoke an’ toast my taes afore I gaed tae bed. But in dasn sae I didna. observe that the creepy had a broken leg ;• but I cam’ to a knowledge o’t wi’ a vengeance whan I can tit heels ower heed i’ the floor,- tac the-great amusement o’ a wheen j T oung Lizzies ’at were glaikin’aboot i’ the kitchen. They a!' akir.lt an’’ leuch at my dooncome, whilk, I- may juist remark, is the way o’ the warld generally,, h \\l» sair affront.it, an’ no weel pleased at beinglauebod at, but I pit up wi’t a’ the best way I cud. Lucky M'Penny make a, kind o’ apology for haem’ sic a treeberons loom i! the hoose, an’ speir’t, wi’ a w-ink tae the young limmera, if a! my banes were hale..

—v # , “ Gar ’im pay aff for braking yer> stool!, grann,” said one of the young jades.. ’ “ ’Deed, an’ it’s as little’s lie tnicht daoafter a’,” says granny., “ Hae ye .ony.thing on, yo,gud&nian? naanur-gt’ea a? ; a, taste for-yep Sitin’, ye ken-. Gome, shell oot,. an’; Ksil’U rin the cutter.”

I had a rough guess fat the tiu-lcl tae bo plain, she wis as ill-faur’d au auld hag as ever-1 saw.. But as I had nae intention o’ stanin.. a taste, I pretended, ’at I didiuv, oouderatan’ her- meaning

“ Gae wa wi’ ye* gud'eman-,no-sao• green, the/ ye- be- a countryman frae Freick.. Joust gi’es as muekle* got a‘nip’ the piece.”’ “ It’s nae-Freick I come frao,” says I'. “ Oh! shuffle, gudeman, fa cares whaur ye come frae,” says ane o’ the young linmners. “If ye were hauf a, chap ye wadna refuse tao stan! a, pint tae fci-eat ye-rlass. wi’:’*' An’ as she said sae she-fmrsel’t hersel*'close tae whaur I wis siftin' an* had the daurin’* iinpidence t ae pit her han’ i’ tny pooch. “ Na,.na, keep yer ban’s oot there. I hac na: siller tao spend that way.; ap’d'orbye? Lha&a. wife o’ myain at hame,” says-1.. “ On, ye’ll he a Ghide TOmplar,’', says auld' lucky, , wi* - a kind o’" a lauch, “ an’ that be the case wo needna look for oor whistles wat frae you ; but it’s a’ the same, Greordio Simple ’ill be in by an. bye, an’ he’ll np refuaa, tae stan-on his bans if ye winna-.* As I didna want tae be unceevil wi’ tbs fouk, me being a stranger, I said I had nae siller enoo, but I wadna be ahint wi**aidram on a Saturday mchfc, er on ony high occasion; sie Irkea Yule or Pasch, an’ that put tliem a’ in better humour .1 sat cracking a lang time, windering whan the lizzies wad lak their crawl,.but they didna seem in ony hurry, an’ as I had tae bo at my wark.by six o’clock i* the mornin’; Ir had tae be illmannered enough tae leeve- them uu gang; tae bed.

I gaed tao bed, but a* "at I cud dae 1' cud ha steep. A colony o’ rats an’’mice, some thousands, strong, ran ower the floor Mite mad, an’ squeakife an" scrapit an’ kccpifc up sic a rackit as I ne’er heard the like o’ t. But the mice an’ even the rats michthae been put ap wi', if that had- beena’ ; farer than tho din they made they gaed menuo ithor fash, for wi’ some srna’ exceptions they socht nane o’ my company, but the boga—an’ they war rife enough—wad gie me neither rest nor peace on noe consideration. I rowed an’ tossed aboot for twa or- three ’oors, as if I were lying ’among nettles. I canna say hoo lung I had been liccpin the mice an’ bogs company, whan I heard an unco stammerin’ on the tim’er stair, as if a cattle boast wis tryin tao come up the staps. But what at first I took for a beast turned oot tae be man, an’ my futur bedfellow too, tho the state he wis in wis beastly eneugh. Wi’ nae little din he made his way-in at the door, an’ as he wis stammerin thro’ the ooter room I heard the landlady tellin ho had got„a. neebour-lao sleep wi’ the nicht. In a minute- tlierovfter Goordie Simple—for that wis bis name—cam stamraex’in’ in tae the bedroom wi’ a-parafin-lamp in bis ban ‘an’sets it doon on the. floor’-,"' .He .wis -weel tae live, as the sayin’ is, but be didha.- look,like a wild kind o’, a cbield, as far’s I cud guess. c Ter no sleepin, are ye, chap ?’ he said, after taking a glide look e’ yer bumble servant. 1 Na, I’m no sleepin’,’ says I.

‘ Ye diuna ken mo, am —bic —Geordie Simple,’ he said. ‘ Man am a gie glide—hie—kind o’ a chiekl—hie—ye’ll meet wi". waur f ouk than me that/.

• Tbelieveye/sayff l; ~ - •- -•- ‘That’s richt. Gies yer han—hie —yer a; brick, so ye are. Will ye tak a pint, chappie ?’ " I'.gied him, my hand in token o’ freendship, thinking it wis better tae flatter a f-ule- than, tae feclifc wT im, an’ remarkit that I thocht he had plenty for a nicht,. an’ .advised him tae tak a sleep. Wi’ that he broke oot wi’ a ratft o* a sang aboutino gaen-hame or momin. ‘Man, chappie—hie —juist baud yer tongue an’ I’ll sing ye a sang—hie,’ he gaed on, leanin again the wa’ tae steady himsel’., ‘Were ye ever i’ the Music Hall-hie—man, ye never heard the great Wilkins sing, did ye ne ?’ An withoot gien me time tae say whether I had or no, he began roariii like a nowt the wards o’ a sang, but a’ ’at I cud mak sense o’ was the owerturn, whilk wis something like this— Then dae yer best tae ane anither, Makin’ life a pleasant dream, Help a puir an’ weary brither Pullin’ hard against the stream. ‘ Fat va think o’ that ? —hie ’ —he speered, after lie had roared himsel’ hoarse. ‘ Did ever ye see a, clog dance ?’ ‘ For ony sake,’ says I, ‘dinna yoke a dancing at this time o’ nicht; ye’ll wauken a 1 the neebours.’- ‘ The neebours be bic,’ said Grordie, an’ afore ye cud say sax he fell tae bammerin at the rotten floor like a pair o’ flails, ilka thud o’ his tacketie boots makin the auld biggin’ shake tae the foundation..- ‘ Man,, yer surely daft ; ye’ll ca. doon the hoose;’ but I had hardly the wards oot o’ my mooth whan he gied the lamp a kick, smashed, the glass, an’ sent the blazin oil swimming, ower a’ the floor. ‘ Man, dae \o see fat ye hae dune ? Ye-’ve- set the hoose in a. 10w.,’ - I cried, jumping tae my feet. I never heard,;sic a, string-o’ aiths- the drunk fuld gat oot wi’ whan he saw what he- had dune.. But sio a, shindy got up. i’ the hoose, The auld. . hag o’ a, landlady, an’ the young, Lizzies afore- ! mentioned—whilk I noo, learned were oor fellowlodgers—skirl’t like wild cats, cryin oot Fire!, ’fire!: Peelise! peelise!. I wis clean bumbased \ wi’ the fire-and. the noise o’ their tongues ; but as ■ I wis, the only sensible individual among them, I i ordered them a’ tac mak less noise, an* tell me ' whaur F wad get some water. But I raicht as weel. a, spoken, tao the stane wa’ ; an’ as the women, wadua or cudna help me, I tried tae help rnysel.. By gude luck I got my hand on a bucket o’, water, au dashed it ower the blazin floor, and got the low a kind o’ a drooned oot. It wis just us weel for’s a! that there wisna mucklo oil left i’ the lamp.- whan the catastrophe happened,, or we wad a’ been burnt oot of hoose and ha’: Farer than the fricht an. the sokin.o’ the bed an! my wicking olaos, na ithermischief wis dime.. But the- skirling o’ the w.eemin feuks biwcht in a! the- neebours an’ a ■couple cl bobbies tae see what wis the matter. Hovvsomev.er,;. a’thing, wis outer afore they cam,, and so.the-bobbies, after speerin’ a’ tho oots.and .ins o’ the-affair, bade’s gude nicht an left us tae ioorsols-. But it wis ao thing tae get quit o’ the peelise an anither tac get red o’ the lang-tonguod wives that cam s laikin, wot an in the halo nicht, , lan l,; after they got the hint that they wad be as weel, i! their ain. booses mindin their ain affairs. Them tongues gaed like hand bells till near sax li the-morning, whan I gaed awa tao ray vrark. Ne'er-a wink o“ sleep that nicht gat yer humble servant, Jock VVabsxee.