CHARLES DICKEN'S ON NEWSPAPERS.

Wellington Independent, Volume XVII, Issue 1801, 6 December 1862, Page 3

CHARLES DICKENS ON NEWSPAPERS.

At the anniversary dinner of the Newsvenders 1 Benevolent Institution, at Freemason's tavern Mr C. Dickens (as chairman) made the following amusing speech on proposing " Prosperity to the Newavenders' Benevolent and Provideut Institution :" — Ladies and Gentlemen, when I had the honor of being asked to preside over the anniversary dinner of this society last year, I was prevented from doing so by indisposition, and besought my friend Mr Wilkie Collins to dosoin my stead. He very kindly complied, to my great relief, and made an excellent speech. Now to tell you the truth, I read the account of that speech with considerable uneasiness, for it inspired me with a strong misgiving that I had better have presided last year, with neuralgia in my face and my subject in my head, rather than preside this year, with my neuralgia all gone and my subject anticipated. Therefore, I wish to preface the toast this evening by making the managers of this institution one very solemn and repentant promise, and it ia this —If ever I find myself obliged to provide a substitute again, they may implicitly rely on my sending them the most speechless man of my acquaintance (laughter.) The chairman of last year presented you with an admirable view of the universality of the newsman's calling. He imagined the variety of people who looked for the newsman every day, and the variety of interest with which his burden is expected. Nothing that I can think now remains for me but to imagine the newsman's burden itself, and to unfold one of those wonderful broad sheets which he every day disseminates, and to take a| bird's eye view of its contents. So if you pleaae, choosing my own time, which the newsman cannot, for he must bo equally active ia summer and winter, in sunshine and in shower, in light and in darkness.^ early and late — choosing then, I say, my own time, I shall start off for two or three moments with the newsman on a fine May morning, and take a view of the wonderful broad sheets which he scatters broadcast over the country. Well, the first thing that occurs to me following the newsman is, that every day we are born, that every day we, or at least some of us are married, and that every day we die (laughter. ) Consequently, the first thing the newsvenders' columns informs]us of is that Atkins has been born that Catkins haa been married, and that Datkins, is dead (great laughter). But the most remarkable thing I immediately discovar ia the next column is, that Atkinson's infancy is very brief, for I find that he has become seventeen years of age, and run away from home, for my eye lights on the fact that" W, A.," which means William Atkins, is solemnly adjured to immediately return to his disconsolate parents, and everything will be arranged to his satisfaction, and to the satisfaction of everybody else (" hear, hear," and laughter) I am informed he will not return, for if he ever meant to come back he would not have run away (laughter). Immediately below I find a mysterious character in such a mysterious difficulty that it is only to be expressed by several disjointed sentences and several figures and asterisks, and then I find the explanation in the intimation that the writer has given his|property over to his uncle and that the elephant is on the wing (loud laughter. Still glancing over the shoulder of my industrious friend the newsman, 1 find that there are great fleets of ships bound to all the ports of the world, that they all have a little more stowage room, and all want a little more cargo, that they all have a few more berths to let, that they have all the most spacious cabins and decks, that they are all built of teak and copperfastened, and all carry surgeons of experience— in fact that they are A 1 at Lloyd's, and everything else (laughter). Still glaucing over the shoulder of my newsman, I find I am offered all kiuds of houses, lodgings, clerks, servants, and situations which I can possibly or impossibly want. I learn to my intense gratification that I need never grow old, that I may always preserve the juvenile bloom of my complexion, that if ever I became ill it is entirely my own fault, that I may have no more grey hair (laughter): If 1 have any complaint and want brown cod liver oil or a Turkish bath I am told where I can get it, and that if I want an income of £7 a week I have only to send for it enclosing half a crown's worth of postage stamps (great laughter). Glancing again over the shoulder of my friend the newsman, my eye lights upon the imperial parliament, and there I read among, the stereotyped passages that the hon member for somewhere asked the right hon the Secretary for the Home Department whether he had any intelligence to communicate with respect to the last outrage, the last railway accident, or the last railway accident, or the last mine explosion ; and then I always read how the right hon gentleman the Home Secretary, in reply, said he knew nothing of the occurrence beyond what he had read in the newspapers (laughter). ' Then I look to the police intelligence, and there 1 can discover that if I have a piopeusity that way to indulge, I may very cheaply bite off a human being's nose, but that if I preauma to take off from a butcher's window the nose of a dead calf or pig, it will cost me exceedingly dear (laughter) — aud also find that if I allowed myself to be betrayed into the folly of killing an inoffensive tradesmen upon his own doorsteps, that little incident will not affect the testimonials oi my character, but that I shall be described as a most amiable young man, and above all thing 3, remarkable for the inoffensiveness of my character and disposition. still looking over the shoulder of my friend the newsman, my eye passes to the theatrical intelligence, and I read the news, which is really no news at all, that the true spirit of a picturesque artist has been displayed by Mr Benjamin Webster--(hear) — or that another most subtle and delicate piece of comedy has been achieved by my friend Mr Alfred Wigan (cheers): Then I turn to the fine arts, and under that head I find that J O has most triumphantly exposed a certain JOB.(laughter) — which J O B was remarkable for this ugly feature , that I was requested to deprive myself of my bast pictures for six months, that for that time they were to be hung on a wet wall, and that I was to be i equited for my courtesy in having my pictures covered byja wet blanket. To sum up the results of the glance over my newsman's shoulder, it gives me a comprehensive knowledge of what is going oii over the continent of Europe, and also of what is going on over the continent of America, to say nothing of such little geographical regions as India and China. In the latest telegrams which come to hand I learn how my boy is getting on in the army, and turning to the naval intelligence I read the latest news concerning my boy ia the navy. All the topics are sifted and expressed in short, pointed, and terse articles, and every morning before breakfast, like Ariel, I am enabled to put a girdle round the earth, and coming back to London bridge learn the latest movements of the Japanese ambassadors ("hear, hear," aud laughter). Speaking of the ambassadors, they of all things ought to be here to night at a dinner of newsvenders, for there is nothing which could more excite their astonishment ; for in Japan they forbid the circulation of news under pain of instant death, and cut the newsman in halves the moment he shows himself (laughter)' Now my friends, this is the glance over the newsman's shoulders from the whimsical point of view , which is the point I believe which most promotes digestion (laughter). The newsman is to to be met at every turn, on steamboats and railway stations ; his profits are very small, he has a great amount of anxiety and care, and his own amount of wear aud tear ; he is indiapensible to civilization and freedom, and he is looked for with pleasure able excitement every day, except when he lends the paper fer an hour, aud then his punctuality in calling for it is anything but agreeable (hear, hear, and laughter). The lesson we can learn from our newsman is some new illustration of the uncertainty of life, some illustration of its vicissitudes and fluctuations. Mindful of this permanent lesson some members of the trade founded this society, which would afford them assistance in the time of sickness and indigence in return for their subscription which is infinitesimal. It amounts to only to five shillings per annum. Looking at the returns before me, the progress of the society would appear at first to be slow, but it is okly sure for the beat of all reasons that it is sure. The. pensions which are granted by the society are all drawn out of the interest on the funded capital of the society (hear, hear)— and are theaefore literally as safe aa the bank. It is stated- that there are' several members of the trade who are not members

of the society, but that is equally the case with all institutions which have come under thy experience. The very persons who are most likely to stand in need of the benefits which an institution of this kind confers.'are invariably the people to keep away until bitter experience comes to them . too late, and shows that men have mue'.i to lose in keeping apart from it. In asking you to drink this toast, I have to congratulate you on the success which has followed this institution, and I must also congratulate you on t!u; fact that a rare article of intelligence* will appeal in the public prints to morrow, and give employment to the newsvenders— the fact, namely, that ladies have dined at a public dinner table. I respect the gallantry and good sense of the committee in abolishing, to far as they have been concerned, the barbarous and preposterous custom which condemned the ladies to a distinct place while the other sex were eating and drinking — which is the custom of all savage tribes (cheers and laughter). The worthy chairman concluded by proposing the toast of the evening, which was substantially responded to in a subscription of about £100.