CURIOUS EXPERIENCE OF A PARLIAMENTARY CANDIDATE.

Wanganui Herald, Volume XXXXVI, Issue 13423, 10 July 1911, Page 8

CURIOUS EXPERIENCE OF A PARLIAMENTARY CANDIDATE.

The writer of “Club Yarns”, in “Vanity Fair” tells the following amusing story—.“ When my cousin was running for North Avonshire,” began Crawley—and wo all lent an car, for he’s a. quiet chap who doesn’t say much—“there was one corner of the constituency where he never could get a hearing. There was a ring of five or six villages almost entirely owned by the Duke, whose youngest sou was opposing my cousin. Time after time wo either got no audience or else rotten eggs. And yet our side had always got a fair sprinkling of votes in this district. Now, my cousin hated eggs, and determined that he should take a sufficient bodyguard with him to enforce a hearing. We fixed up a series of meetings for a Saturday, beginning in the first village at 3 o’clock, and ending up at the last at 8. About ten miles away was our stronghold. Downha mpton. We fixed up a party of ahoiT--90 stalwarts from the club there, to come over in three char-a-bancs and follow the candidate's carriage. The agent bought a hundred cheap ash plants at a wholesale stock and umbrella warehouse, and entered the cost as postage stamps. A!) went well at first. AVe fairly terrified the villagers who were against us, and delighted the hearts of the poor devils on our fade who daren’t call their souls terrupt, our aohpjant men just formed a ifffg round him, and said nothing. Mv cousin heed off live really good speeches, and felt downright happy. The procession was well oa its way homo, just after nine p.ra., and we were laughing and joking, when out of the darkness came, throe eggs. The first hit our coachman on his chest, the second caught me on mv cap, and the third splashed right in the candidate's face. I shouted to the brakes, the whole lot pulled up. and tiic ashplant brigade swarmed out and up the leafy banks on either side of the road. If they 'had found anyone they would have iclt him half dead. There was oulv one house—apparently empty—within half a mile; and as that looked a likely lair, and their blood was up. they' smashed all the windows, swarmed through, and drew—blank. Then they' searched the fields and hedgerows for hundreds of yards round, and several times nearly stand; one another in the darkness. Dnt they never found anyone. And so, despite, all the king’s horses and all (he kings men, my cousin got his egg—and later on found himself with 2,000 too few votes to win. lie swears he will never touch polities again till oo»s are abolished