BREEZES

Wairarapa Daily Times, 31 July 1936, Page 4

BREEZES

Completion! ‘ ‘ Excuse me, ’ ’ said the bright young man, opening the door of the crowded railway carriage, “but is the ark full?” “It is,” replied a passenger. “All but the ass. Come in!” * * * * Revenge.

“I say, old man, I saw Jenkins in a restaurant yesterday afternoon, and he was wolfing steak as fast as he was able. He must have eaten about a pound of the stuff.” “There’s nothing surprising about that. ’ ’

“But I thought he was a confirmed vegetarian?”

“Well, he used to be, but he’s changed his ideas since, he narrowly escaped being tossed by a bull.” * * * * Macnabbed! Isaacs, an outfitter, had bought half-a-dozen cheap shirts for which he could find no sale, so he consulted Levinsky, a fellow tradesman, as to how he should dispose of them. “Why,” said Levinsky, “send them to Macnab, and enclose an invoice for five shirts. Macnab will think you’ve made a mistake and take the six shirts and pay you for five, and, after all, that’s better than not selling them at all.”

Isaacs said he would try this. A week later the two Jews met again. “Levinsky,” said Isaacs, “you tried to ruin me. I sent the six shirts to Macnab with an invoice for five, and he sent back five shirts with a note to say ho didn’t want them.”

He Lives in Tree-top. . Because she married a man who prefers living in the tree-tops, a Newark (U.S.A.) woman has been granted a divorce.

“He has rather peculiar ways,” said 27-year-old Mrs Emilie Arslanian, of her husband, Mr C. Melkin Arslanian, aged 53, in Newark Divorce Court. “He seems to prefer the great outdoors to married life. Now he’s living in a tent or a tree in the Orange mountains.’’

On the day after their marriage in 1928, he left her and went to Europe—“on a honeymoon alone.’’ On his return he erected a tent on the roof of their apartment—and refused to come out of it. Then he moved into the country, built a platform on a tree — and lived there. Mrs Arslanian said she didn’t think she and her husband had much in common—and the Judge agreed.

Flats for Workers. The wife of the Prime Minister of Britain, Mrs Baldwin, recently opened a remarkable example of “rehousing,” which the Westminster City Council carried out on the site of the Thames tragedy of 1928, when 14 people were trapped and drpwned by the floods. Here, near the river, seven blocks of what are claimed to be Britain’s most up-to-date working-class flats have, sprung up. Through the liberality of the Duke of Westminster a low rent record must have been established for London—or anywhere else. The Duke has leased the. site to Westminster City Council for 999 years at a rental of Is a year. Sir Edwin Lutyens, R.A., is the architect of the new blocks,, Each of theflats has from one to four rooms, exclusive of kitchenettes. Already 604 families, who formerly lived in houses covering an area of 21 acres, are rehoused in approximately six acres. A further rehousing scheme, is being carried out by Westminster City Council at Ebury Bridge Road, where five blocks of flats are being built to house 300 families. * * * #

Real Fight on Stage. Four people were injured when an Indian amateur actor became so carried away by his part as a knight of old that he struck out in earnest with his sword. The actor, who was playing at the Lucknow Theatre, had unfortunately been provided with a sword rather more, substantial than the usual ' theatrical weapons. The knight was rescuing a distressed damsel, and his, indignation at her treatment apparently got the better of him. The villain, with whom,he had to fight a duel, discovered to his dismay that there was no make-believe about' the fight on his opponent’s part. The knight lunged viciously at his foe’. Eventually his terrific cut-and-thrust was too much for the villain, who made a rapid exit. The knighterrant, cheated out of his prey, pursued his quest among the orchestra. One musician received a thrust in the face and was sent to hospital. Three others received slighter wounds. The 'audience stampeded to safety before the infuriated man could reach, them. The curtain was rung down, and the too-realistic actor put under restraint.