BREEZES

Wairarapa Daily Times, 16 March 1932, Page 4

BREEZES

Try the Strongroom. Prim Old Clerk (to office manager): “The painters are in my room now, sir. Is there anywhere I can squeeze a typist for a few days?” *w„ * * The Cure! Mrs Mullins had called to enquire of the ailing husband. “No,” said Mrs Flattery, “Bob isn’t getting on so well. I spoke to the doctor about him, and the doctor gave me a powder to cure him of drinking.” “How did you administer it?” asked Mrs Mullins. “Just put it in his cocoa,” came the reply. “It worked all right, I suppose? asked the other. Mrs Flattery nodded miserably. “Oh, yes,” she replied. “It cured him of drinking cocoa.” * * * * Wedding Repeated. How a Gloucestershire (England) bride was recently nearly married, by mistake, to her bridegroom’s best man has been revealed. In the church vestry, after the ceremony, the bride signed the register. . “Now the bridegroom,” said the clergyman, who was not acquainted with the parties. One of the two men stepped forward. “No, the bridegroom,” corrected the clergyman. ' . 1 ' “1 am the bridegroom,” said the man. “But vou didn’t answer the questions during the service,” said the clergyman. “No,” replied the groom. ‘We thought the best man had to do that.” The astonished clergyman, realising that the bridegrom' had"not yet signed the register, got over the difficulty by repeating the ceremony in the church, this time with the bridegroom making the responses'. # A Little Mistake. How easily may a fair reputation be ruined! An order for ; a case of beer was sent to a Christchurch brewery from a suburban resident, and the van was duly dispatched with the liquor. The carters found no one at home, so thev proceeded to stack the beei in the cellar. Upon returning to the van they were struck by the words of two women, who were regarding the van with a suspicious eye. “Fancy a brewer’s wagon outside here,” remarked one. “Why, the 's are strict teetotallers.”* “Il’m! ” sniffed the other “vou never know who’s who nowadays.” And .it was then that the carter's consulted the docket and found that the beer should have been delivered to the house on the opposite side of the road! „ What is Cricket? Speaking at the Allen Hall, Dunedin, Professor G. E. Thompson, dean of the faculty of arts "and science, mentioned that he had addressed assembled high school students in America of 2000 and more. He would speak for half an hour or so, and the students would invariably ask for more. He would then ask them if they desired him to answer questions. They always gave him two. The first was: “Have you any ot those strange baby cars in New Zealand” — (laughter) —and the_ second one was: “What is cricket?” Professor Thompson said he would draw the wickets on a blackboard and explain the game: The students would then-dis-cuss which game would provide the best university spirit—baseball or cricket. He found that the great defect of cricket in the minds of American students, was that- when one side was m the field the other side was practically doing nothing. They wanted to know if that drawback could not be retorm--•d. — (Laughter.) „ Sixpenny Four-course Dinner. A four-course dinner for sixpence! That is wnat Middlesbrough, Yorkshire, can do. Tuani-is to me, enterprise of practical men and women, thousands of people in tins hard-nm town are being enabled to carry on through the days of financial depression with good square meals to put heart into them. A system which began in Middlesbrough in the days of bleak unemployment years ago has been extended so that there are now dozens of homely restaurants where meals can be obtained at an amazingly low' price. One can buy a four-course meai for sixpence. It consists of soup, a cut off the joint, two vegetables, a sweet and coffee. If the hungry one has not got sixpence lie can get a substantial cold pie for three pence and a cup ol: coffee as big a s His hand for one penny. One cafe, run by good-hearted women who manage to combine philanthropy with sound business, can provide ‘ penny dinners for hungry kiddies.” For a penny, any child is served with a plateful of nourishing hash. It is plain food, of course, but thoroughly sustaining. How is it done? A woman, who keeps a typical cafe, explains. ‘’ 1 keep my own chickens,” she said, “and my husband used to breed pigs to supply the table. Everything has to be bought in bulk, of course, and we have to scheme things out very caicfully. Then we all work very hard, and that helps. Even then business has to be brisk to make tilings pay.”