BREEZES

Wairarapa Daily Times, 12 March 1932, Page 4

BREEZES

“Kell!” Ikey: “The other day I vas told there ain’t no hell.” Moses: “Are you crazy? Of course, there’s a. hell.” Ikey: “I tell you there ain’t.” Moses: “Dere must be a hell, Ikey; else where has all the business gone to?” * * * Insult to Injury. A man was crossing the road when a Great Dane dog knocked him down. He was getting up when he was knocked down again, but this time by a baby ear. Asked a bit later if he were hurt, lie replied: “The dog didn’t hurt me; it was the tin can fastened to his tail that did the damage.” * * * * Eggs Bargain Sale. Thousands of eggs were smashed and scattered about the pavement and roadway when a heavy lorry, owned bj a firm of Bermondsey haulage contractors, and laden with several dozen crates of Swedish eggs, overturned after colliding with another lorry at Central Park Road, East Ham, recently. The news quickly spread, and large crowds gathered and made good use of the opportunity of securing dozens of cracked eggs at bargain .prices, for the salvage workers, realising the hopelessness of their task, decided to get rid of the cracked eggs on the spot, and the scene for two or three liouis resembled a miniature egg market. • * * * Bolling the Cat. Belling the cat is easy when humans take a hand. All the cats in Llewellyn Park, fashionable residential section of West Orange, New Jersey, are compelled to wear bells around their necks for the protection of birds. The women of the community met and" decided that something must be done about the dwindling bird population. The bell ordinance was adopted, and unless the cats work out some method of silencing them while hunting birds, the prey will be forewarned by the tinkling of the bells. s Prehistoric Remains.

Remains of the ground sloth, a mammal generally regarded as characteristic, of the ice age, have been found by California, scientists in Gypsum Cave, 20 miles east of Las Vegas, Nevada. Further, in the same strata left by the ages in the dry cave were unmistakable evidences of a Pueblo culture and of the basket makers. Dr. Chester Stock investigated the Gypsum Cave and found a complete hind foot of the ground sloth, With the horny claws intact, as well as small fragments of the hide and other bits of skeleton. Pieces of charcoal, a worked stick, a stone dart point of a throwing stick, point to the possibility than man and ground sloth lived in the same age in the American South-West. * * * * v Net Enough Speed.

It is always unsafe to count chickens before they are hatched, and it does not always give pleasure to take a tally after they are out of the shell. A member of a picnic party who visited a recreation ground at Auckland took with him a little dog, which, evidently tired of watching his owner playing, cricket, strolled off to do a little exploring. The dog had been away only a few minutes when the owner of the property put in an appearance at the cricket pitch. He was not. looking for a game, but for the owner of the dog, to whom he mentioned that two chickens had not been fast enough to keep in front of the dog, -with the result that their interest in the farm was now gone. Three shillings was the price of the chickens, which was then extracted. * * * *

The Value of a. Smile. It costs nothing, but creates much. It enriches those who receive, without impoverishing those who give. It happens in a flash, and the menioij of it sometimes lasts forever. Xone arc so rich they can get aiong without it, and none so poor but are richer for its benefits. It creates happiness in the home, fosters goodwill in business, and is the countersign of friends. It is rest to the weary, daylight to the discouraged, sunshine to the sad, and Xature’s best antidote for trouble. Yet it cannot be bought, begged, borrowed or stolen, for it is something that is no earthly good to anybody till it is given away! A Hundredth Birthday.

Melbourne, Victoria’s capital, with a population exceeding a million, is preparing preliminary plans for the celebration of its one-hundredth birthday, which falls in 1935. The idea is to stage an event that will attract visitors from all parts of the Empire, as well as elsewhere. If possible, special excursions will be arranged from overseas ports on terms and with prospects that will lie attractive. Special invitations will be extended to the other Dominions. The. Melbourne City Council has suggested a first public appropriation of £250,000. It is,.not unlikely that substantial prizes will be offered for the best suggestions as to the form the celebration should take. One proposal is that there should be a Melbourne Cup—Australia’s greatest handicap horse race—on a scale never before attempted. Another is that there should be international athletic games of commensurate importance, while there is advocacy also of an exhibition, international pageants, gatherings for the promotion of science and industry, and social functions designed to form a carnival of gaiety. As if to counterbalance the pursuit of pleasure, there is still another suggestion —that Melbourne should organise an historic gathering of representative clergymen and preachers from all Empire countries and any other lands that may care to send them.