HUMOUR

Wanganui Chronicle, Volume 83, Issue 30, 6 February 1939, Page 3

HUMOUR

Howlers Again 4 Tarzan is a short name for the American flag. Its full name is tarzan stripes. The gowns of the singers were black and gold and embroidered with vermin. A crematorium is a machine which separates the cream from the milk by a new scientific process.

The steam-roller driver makes an invention.

While on holiday in London, an Australian decided to visit some relatives he had known before only by correspondence. He was accompanied by a friend, and both were made to feel at home. A little niece, in particular, hung around the new-found relative so much that her mother mentioned it, and asked the reason. “1 like kissing Uncle Bert,” replied the tot, “because he smells like trifle! ”

“Colonel! . . I’m afraid that you lost one of your medals while we were dancing! ”

A woman had been inoculated against typhoid preparatory to going abroad. Being disinclined to see anybody at the time, she remained in bed. It happened that an intimate friend arrived, and a small daughter was sent downstairs to explain. “Mummy’s in bed, ’ she said. “In bed?” “Yes. She was intoxicated yesterday, and has a bad headache.”

“Dear mo! . . . so it wasn’t appendicitis! ’ ’

Two men working for a timber merchant had tickets for the football match. On the Saturday they were eagerly looking forward to finishing work promptly at noon to go to the ground. Two minutes before twelve the foreman came along and told them to unload a wagon of timber, saying: “I want the Bft. there, the 10ft. there, and the 12ft. there.” Then he went round to the other side of the wagon. One of the men looked at his mate, swore, and said:— "Lunime, I know what he wants.’’’ The foreman appeared round tht corner of the wagon and asked: “Well, what is it I want? ’ “You want the Bft. there, the 10ft. there, and the 12ft. there,” replied the grouser.

fae lilm-Mar: “ ... and during the evening 1 love to work in the kitchen just like an ordinary housewife!”

‘ ‘ Do you remember that night I kissed you ” asked the young man-about-town. “Oh, yes,” replied the chorus girl. “And you remember me saying that you would be mine, all mine, for ever and a day?” “Yes, yes!” “I was afraid you would.”