A BATCH OF HOWLERS

Waipa Post, Volume 42, Issue 3271, 12 March 1931, Page 2

A BATCH OF HOWLERS

For some years the “ University Correspondent” (London), has published in January a list of howlers few from New Year’s batch:— The battle about the penny post was fought on Rowland Hill. Christopher Columbus didn’t discover America, but he discovered something just like it. Mary Queen of Scots sewed well. History says she was fond of darning. Bannock Burn so called because Alfred burned the cakes there. Joan of Arc, a brave women, the wife of Noah. A sextant is a church caretaker. In case of poisoning a cosmetic is used. A matrix is a component part of a bedstead. * The best way to perserve the teeth is to put them in water overnight. Calico and'linen are dangerous to wear, because when the body gets heated it soaks sinto the cloth. Wireless valves work by eccentricity.

White is a colour that stands for joy. Women are married in white, but men never are.

An acute angle is less than a right angle and greater than two right angles. 'j Weather is what we # have every day, climate is what we should have if we were at sea level.

An isosceles triangle has three of its sides equal, and any one of them is parallel to the third. A toadstool is a thing that looks like a mushroom, then if you eat it you die and you know it is not a mushroom.

M.A. is what a lady becomes when' she gets married. Edison built lighthduses. A buttress is a lady butler. Levi sat at the receipt of costumes. Curtail—the end of a mongrel. A Budget is an Irish female servant. Contralto is a low kind of music sung only by women. A bankrupt is a man who broke the bank through gambling and taxes.