ITS A FAIRY WORLD WE LIVE IN

Wairarapa Age, 20 December 1919, Page 2

ITS A FAIRY WORLD WE LIVE IN

PRETENCE AND MAKE-BELIEVE THE FASHION. (By Alfred Barnard.) From the cradle to the grave everything is coloured with pretence, say* the writer. Birth and death appea> to him to be the only realities. "Let's pretend" is a phrase commonly heard among children when at play. They pretend to be good, they pretend to be bad; they pretend to be Indians, burglars, parents and ever> other kind of trouble with which, through experience or literature, the> have become acquainted. Pretence in a child is good. It stimulates ambition and prepares it for life in the great world. For this is a world of make-be-lieve wherein the line denoting the happy medium of pretence is the mark of success. The man \vho pretends too little is a failure, and the man who pretends too much gets into gaol or is hanged. A woman makes a dress at home | and prtends that it is a tailor-made; I she must not be blamed since economy is a virtue. But the man who takes the watch belonging to another and prtends it is his own is punished according to the law. ■» PRETENDING TO BE RICH. Tho argument that he is practising economy by making one watch do for two would scarcely secure him against

hard labour. Pretending to work is a popular pastime. It is in itself a skilled occupation which keeps the pretender busy. Sometimes employers pretend they do not observe tho pretence of the alleged worker, a plan which enables them to pile a little more work on t<. the pretender, which gives him something more to pretend he is doing. Sometimes comparatively poor people pretend to be rich, thereby gaining admiration from people who are poorer still. The highest people in the land pretend things just as do the lowest. Chancellors of the Exchequer make a hobby of it, and it is difficult to sec how. they could cut out the pretence l without doing away with the Budget. No electorate would tolerate a.Budget that didn't even pretend to put the nation's finance on a better basis. It is a quaint thing that in the theatre, the legitimate home of makebelieve, the pretence is not nearly so good as that of the loafer one meeti outside. * I knew a man who used to rattle his boots on his bedroom floor in order to pretend to the rest of the household, downstairs, that he was getting up early. He would then swish water about in pail to pretend he was having & cold bath; he would put his toast in his pocket to make his wife believe he had had a good breakfast. A NOBLE PRETENDER. He would pretend to his employer that he worked all day and to his wife that he worked all the evening. Ho stood for Parliament, and got in with a large majority, and when he died a huge crowd went to the funeral. The occasion was auspicious since, for the first time, he was not pretending. Boatmen at the seaside are of ten reckless in their pretence to a knowledge of weather vagaries. Girls in white summer frocks, however, should not place too much reliance on the boatman's forecast. It It is a good plan to go home for ,a macintosh the moment he pretends that there is to be a long spell of dry weather. Some pretenders are extremely lovable, such, for example, as women who pretend they are tho happiest in the world when they are wrestling with the problem of keeping a large family on a very small income; and all people who suffer pain and misfortune with a smiling face make this world a better place to live in. They do not pretend in vain. Nor would this slight sketch of a universal class be complete without reference to the small boy who pretends to a feeling of enjoyment aftei eating the sixth green apple, nor to the merchant who pretends that he pays his income tax because it is hie duty to do so. And how shall we find words good enough to honour our friend who pretends that he knows where to buy a whole bottle of pre-war whisky? What a hustle there would be if w? woke up one day and found that he wasn't pretending after all I The crowd at my friend's funeral would be insignificant by comparison