BY THE WAY.

Star (Christchurch), Volume XLIV, Issue 201, 25 August 1931, Page 8

BY THE WAY.

Some Collections and Reflections. (BY ONE OF THE BOYS.) Mr Coates and party are “ moral leaders.” But what kind of morals? A correspondent asks how beer is measured. Mostly in short measures, but very often in long ’uns. A fiery-tempered colonel received a letter which enraged him. This was his reply:— “ Sir, —My stenographer, being a lady, cannot type what I think of you. *l, being a gentleman cannot think it. But you, being neither, wall understand what I mean.” Judge: “Now tell me how you came to rob that house.” Burglar: “I can’t, sir. It’s a trade secret.” Magistrate (to prisoner) : “ What, you here again? ” Prisoner: “Yes, sir.” “ Aren’t you ashamed to be seen here? ” “No, sir! What’s good enough for you is good enough for me! Teacher: “ What skins are most used for shoes? ” Tommy: Dunno, sir, but banana skins always make good slippers.” Busy Parent: “First, realise my time’s valuable; secondly, say what you want; thirdly, be short.” Spendthrift Son: “First, I do; secondly, I will; thirdly, I am.”