BY THE WAY.

Star (Christchurch), Volume XLIV, Issue 191, 13 August 1931, Page 6

BY THE WAY.

Seme Collections and Reflections. Illy ONE OF THE BOYS.) Is it a new note in birth notices? 4 “ Squall at Hokitika.” The Methven farmers protest strongly about new wheat prices. This sort of thing goes again t the grain. The main objection to the Christchurch tyre industry seems to be that it would promote inflation. Mr Winsor said the big wickets had come to stay. Alas! Too many young batsmen know how quickly they Is is said that railway stations on closed lines in Britain are being used as dance halls, public houses, etc. In New Zealand the be t of them are used as dog-kennels. Daughter: “ Dad, I want some money Father: 44 But my dear child, I didn’t \ even know you were engaged.” Daughter: 44 Good heavens, father! Don’t you ever read the papers?” Smith (after the accident) : “ Do you know, that is the third statue this town has had wrecked by' lorry- accidents this year ?” Robinson: 44 Some towns seem to have all the luck.” Fortune-teller: “1 see large and shady- figures in dark and troubled waters, portending grave financial loss —but stay, there is hope. A blaze of light from a thousand tongues of flame.” Client: “ Can you see if we get away with the insurance?” According to a doctor, one drink w-ill make some men see double. We only hope that the man who reads our gas meter is a strict teetotaller. “And what happens to little boys who tell lies,” asked the benevolent old gentleman. They get in for half-price,” replied the young Rugby enthusiast. Two showmen were talking together, not having met for some years. “ How is that. Italian acrobat getting on. Signor Macaroni, that used to be with the circus?” asked the first. “ Oh, well,” said the other, “ his great ambition was to walk a tight-rope on his head, get rich, and retire!” “Ah!” said the first. “He did it, and now he’s resting on his laurels?” “ No,” was the reply. “He tried it —and now laurels a r e re ting on him!” Business was brisk at the pie-cart, hut Mara found time to improve his mind by reading a 1! about the 44 Star’s ” big new rotary printing press. “ Dandv machine, that.” he sail Real whizzer—bought cheap at a forced sale wasn’t it?” he asked “ Huso!’ I said. “ Let by-gones be by-gones. Some people don’t like the old 4 Star ' having it.” “ Only jealousy,” snorted Ham. “ Pure nark. Newspapers,” said he, “ are like pies. If the public don’t like what’s in ’em, they won’t buy ’em. I bought this piecart turnout from a bloke up in Auckland who thought he was a pie champion, but he didn’t know enough to make dough. The outside of the pies looked nasty, and the inside had no taste. Result, a sale—cheap. And now, when the bloke sees me buying the wife a new dress and the kids all ride bikes, he tries to sympathise with me the poor state of the pie business. All the same,” concluded Ham, “he can keep his fingers out of my pie."