BY THE WAY.

Star (Christchurch), Volume XLIV, Issue 72, 25 March 1931, Page 8

BY THE WAY.

SOME COLLECTIONS AND REFLECTIONS. • (By One of the Boys.) A thief made an attempt on a Self Help store in Papanui. He evidently read it as “ Help Self ”. “ Glasgow imports butter from New Zealand.” Trust the Scotsmen to make New Zealand butter “go further”. Telephone thieves resist police. A raid on the “ coppers ”. Those refugees who are staying away from Napier need a good shaking up. Sixty bicycles stolen monthly. This sort of thing makes one tyred. ♦.j j.j j.j “ Give me an old soldier who will not shy at the smell of powder.”—Modern Woman. •*» •*» 2S The laziest man we know refuses even to labour under a delusion. “How do we hear?” asks a correspondent.—Somebody tells a friend, and the friend of the teller tells a friend of ours, and he tells us. That’s how we hear! When a woman says she won’t be a minute, she’s usually right! “ What will you do when you grow up to be a big woman like your mother? ” Small Daughter: “Diet! ” “ My dear,” said the old man, tenderly, “ to-day is our diamond wedding, and I have a little surprise for you! “Yes? ” said his silver-haired wife. He took her hand in his. . ■ , ■ ? “ You see this engagement ring-I gave you seventy-six years ago? ” “Yes? ” “ Well, I paid the final instalment on it to-day, and I’m proud to announce that it is now altogether yours! ” Mrs Flower: “ Don’t you think Mrs Jones has a very refined face? ” Mrs Leaf: “Well, she ought to have; it’s been through processes enough! ” •.j ♦.♦ *.* Frenchman (proud of his knowledge of English) : “ But I’m sorry to cockroach upon your time longer.” Frenchman (sadly): “Ah, thousand pardons! Oui, oui! Encroach! I always get your English genders mixed up.” - .