BY THE WAY.

Star (Christchurch), Issue 18056, 17 January 1927, Page 7

BY THE WAY.

SOME REFLECTIONS AND COLLECTIONS. (By One of the Boys). Everybody has their pet prejudices. T hate receiving letters with a halfpenny stamp thereon. Si Si Scene: TI.M.S. Renown. Chief aide-de-camp seated in one deck chair, the Duke of York in another. Duke: I suppose I had better go over it. again. My head is nearly bursting with new knowledge. We’ll start with Auckland. What’s Auckland chiefly noted for, again? C.A.: Swelled bead, but you had bettor not mention it. Something about the harbour would be best.

Duke: Yes, yes. I remember. Never will I forget your magnificent, busy harbour. Never have I seen its equal. That ought, to do. C.A.: Hardly. Too strong. You 11 offend Sydney. Better make it “ enchanting,” and leave . out “ busy. “Busy” will do for Wellington. They are frankly commercial down there. Duke: What about Lyttelton Harbour. I don’t mention it do I?. You really think if I say: How English, now and again, it will do for Christchurch ?

C.A.: Do! It never fails. It has been put across them for the last fifty years, and they fall for it as good as ever. Don’t forget the Avon is a river. I told you about the tourist who did not know it was a river.

Duke: Stoned to death, wasn't he? C.A.: Something like that. At. Dunedin. Have you got Dunedin off?

Duke: Yes. 1 say: I’m na a Scot m’scl, but ma guid wifie be yin. Auld Lang Syne, whusky, Bobbie Burns, Scots wha hac.

C.A.: Great. You’ll hit them where they live. That marrying a Scotch wife will please them. They won't admire you. but they'll have no doubt about your good judgment. Now, let’s have a game of quoits and call it a da}’. A man in Auckland was before the beak for removing sand from the beach. Similar action is apparently going to be taken here. At New Brighton yesterday, I saw two of these new inspectors sleuthing a man who had a suspicious bulge in the turned up bottoms of his trousers. Paris reports the formation of a large match-making concern. That’s nothing new. My mother and aunts and various interfering persons have been trying to marry me off for years. Thank goodness, without success so far. Si Si Si I thought I saw a race meeting before the Duke to dangle. I looked again and found it was a rather tempting wangle. But now the 0.J.C., I think, are in a prettv tangle. Si Si Si To U.S., Nicaragua Says, what a nag you arc. You can’t boss us You Northern Colossus. Mussolini says, if he knew it, he Would always ensure continuity. And allay the anxiety Of his Fascist society. si si The Government is vague in its policy towards deers and goats. Any “ one of the boys ” knows what to Ho with the deers, and the goats get left.