SMILE SEED.

Star (Christchurch), Issue 11596, 14 January 1916, Page 4

SMILE SEED.

The trees were leaving, and when the hackman canio to take away the trunks the willows were weeping and the dogwood began to bark. "Did you ever get writer's cramp from signing cheques? 35 "No, but I often get stage fright when I'm trying to cash them." * "Poets aro so unpractical." "I don't agree with you. They usually know whore to get the best meal for the smallest price." V " Is that a good watchdog you hare there?" "The best e7er. He refused to let my mother-in-law come near the house yesterday." " "Would you consider Dobbs a square man?" "Well, he had his portrait painted by a cubist painter, and it actually looked like him." "Lucky at cards, unlucky at love, you kfliow." "You bet I know. I first met my wife at a progressive whist evening, where I won the first prize." * " That's a fine machine you've got, old man. What did you do with the little car you ; had last year?" "Oh, I swopped it for a pint of gasolene."

"Dublcy makes me tired. He's always bragging about his ancestors." "Oh, well, there's one consolation. His descendants will never brag about him."

"I am absolutely convinced that Bacon wrote tlie plays attributed to Shakespeare." " What of it? It's too late for him to collect any royalties on them now."

" Aw, it's the same old circus," yawned the man who had seen them all. "Yes, and patronised by the same old deadheads," returned the Press a-gent meaningly.

"I thought Gruinps was a dyspeptic, and yet he's continually going to banquets." "Oh, he doesn't go there to eat. He likes to get into the flashlight pictures."

" Children have curious ambitions. My youngest box eays he's going to be a motorman when he grows up." "He'll get over that. By the time he's old enough to sro to work he won't want to do anything." • " Gladys claims to know every one of the latest dance steps." " Oh, what a fib! Why, she toKL me only this morning that slie hadn't been out of the house for a week." %*

"What are the principal points of interest around here?"" "Decimal points," replied the NeW Yorker, who was showing his country cousin through die financial district.

The men were unloading the last ran of furniture when a man with a camera stopped to take a snapshot.' ''l'm just starting in the moving picture business/' he explained. * " Hello, old man, I haven't seen you since we went to school together. I hope Fortune has smiled ou you." "You might call it that. She's given me the horse laugh many a time."

"Well, I must be going. I suppose you want to begin preparing your busband's dinner." "No hurry. I always wait TJiitil I hear the newsboys shouting: 'Extrce! Final Football!'"

"Do you believe in love at first sfeht?" '' Of course I do. There's Maggsby, for instance. Do you suppose his wife .would ever have married him if she'd taken a second look at his face?"

" I have just read an interesting article about the sewers of Paris," said Hubby, closing the book on ms thumb. "Yes," replied Wifie, "they're busy nighi and day making shirts for soldiers."

" Hew clo you account for Nero fiddling dux-ing the burning of Koine?'" asked the professor"l suppose he had the place heavily insured," suggested the senior scholar who vras specialising in finance."