PREPARING FOR THE CORONATION.

Star (Christchurch), Issue 7422, 7 June 1902, Page 4

PREPARING FOR THE CORONATION.

A DISCUSSION ON HOW TO ' SEE THE PROCESSION. (By BARRY PAIN in the "Daily Mail.") The elderly little man with the paper cuff-protectors put his two parcels up in the rack and sat down. The large, depressed woman, seated) opposite to him looked up at the parcels with disapproval. " Don't know whether you know it," she said, bitterly, " but one of them's sticking out right over the edge. It don't look safe." "They won't take no 'arm," said the little mam, cheerfully. "It does look a bit that way ; but the, centre of gravity being thrown back, it's all right really. Quite light, too. Chinese lanterns, in fact." " Indeed !" " Yes, 'them and fairy lamps is what I've been buying, t'lags we have already — left over from Maf eking. I'm one to look ahead a bit. You mark my words, things of that kind will be at famine prices in a few weeks." INDIGNANT FULHAM. "Meaning for the Coronation? Well, that's not going to be everything it might be." • "I hadn't heard anything wrong." The little man looked rather anxious. " Well, you've only got to look into it. Now, there's the route. I live in Fulham, myself." "And « very nice place, I've always heard. Personally, I'm 'Ornsey." " Now, I say that Walham Green is as important a centre as you'll find in London. Only look <bt the 'busses as stop there. But not being Piccadilly and St James Street, of course we ain't to have a look in. It's what I've always said— rone law for the rich ajid another for th« poor." "But," 'he urged meekty-, "The procession is going down some of the poor parts." "Yes, and a disgviceful billing it is. To think that a Rile King should djemean himself to them nasty slums, and a respectableplace like the Fulham Road get no attention." - "It's a question of time. He can't go into all these outlying parts. I know, at 'Crnaey, we never expected it." "• Oh, it's easy enough to shuffle' and make excuses. That's what ro^jsister-in-law's cousin did when I asked her if sshye y was going to have a seat for me. There'lj be a view fronu one of her- windfows, if you lean out a bit. But I suppose as others are to be put before me, as usual. You, of course, will make a point of seeing it." SOME PLOTS THAT'FAII/ED. "I shall try. I always go to see all these great processions. I just go in the crowd, and I enjoy it too, in a sense, but Tve never actually seen anything yet." "Ah!" she said, judiciously, "you aren't tall enough. I noticed that about you when you got an." " ■• " It's partly ithas. Then, again, my ' time' not ibeing entirely my own, I can't always get there as early as some. Then luck's been against me. I've thought things out, And then they've not worked as I expected. Once I took one of those looking-glass arrangements, and) I believe that would be all right if the crowd ■didn't joggle ; but thejK the crowd does, jqu know." " But my worst luck was on G.I.V. day ; that was as bitter a thing as ever happened to me. J'd got a' largish box to .stand on, and I'd done it. up with, brown paper and string and a label on it, so that the police should think it was a parcel. We 'had rather a hearty laugh about that," he added, pensively, "while I was getting it ready at home— thinking .how mad the police •yrould be df they knew." "And what was the trouble?" •' The trouble was that they did know. Just against the Park one of them snatched it out of my hind. " ' 'That old trick wont work,' he said. 'No stands allowed.' That was a bit of a dis^ppPinlmerit ; but I'd got no time to spare, and I never think ib worth -while to quarrel with tie police. A TEtDE?OQPIC iBOOT. "'AH right,' I said, '111 leave it here.' That wouldn't dp for thim. He said 1 that wasn't a cloakrqomr^and I must tike the thing right Taway. " lie topk ane across the street and put me ithraughthe^crowcl^ There I dropped the ibox, and another policeman made me pick it up again. I couldn't, get rid of tfet &p?' jij>i~flftt tjir '1 "got- io Bryan tson. Square, where I threw, it over the railings. And by- 'the time I got back it was too late to get a iplace where I could see. I've often heaid rae music on these occasions, and) very fine music too, tout I've never quite Wt off th? seeing anything." "And yet you're going to the Core-nation procesßiohi?' 1 " Why, of course t Ain't you ?" "I may be able to work it," said the large woman, darkly, "so that, after all, my sister-in-laiy's cousin Tvquld sooner have me at ster window ttei^well, than have the other <tihaa>S- I* $$>> I fft^i judfc set' at | §om.er'An#~&«ify if I might venture a •word 01 advice." " T shouldn't dream of. it. I wouldn't miss an historic occasion like that for (tthe worid. I've gctt a better dodge this time, one I 'thought of myjjeH. 'Between, ourselves, it's a telescopic boot. The mechanism'^ not entirely* perfect jusft ' y et," ' "but I shall get it all rin'ht. Looks jusb like an ordinary pair of boots and oana be worn as such; but it has "what anight be called *» attachment, by which you can tie raised a foot off '"the ground. I' may possibly take out a patent for it." STOP AT HOME. "Now, if you don't mind' my telling you, I should 'say* leave that alone. Most likely that boot won't work ■when you want it. That's the^ way with all patent things. And if it dpes work, you'll wish it hadn't. If you're standing in. that crowd just as the procession's coming along, and 1 youi suddenly grow a foot toller, it will be a. special providence if you oome out aliv.e. No ; you have your little celebration: at home, with them lanterns, and flags waving, and sufiih- — " "That'a airaiaged for, anyhow," said! the little man', rather snappishly. Th© melancholy lady was trying him. " But /don't you try to see any .procession, for see it you won't, and may as likely as not be brought home on an ambulance ; and of that I'm as certain-r— V " Well, this, is my station, anyhow," said the man, as he prepared to rise. The train stopped -with a jerk, and the jerk sent the parcel' of Chines© lamterna off the rack. It struck tihe lady a severe blow on the bonneb. She observed that thus was what she had known would happen, and that she had said so all along. The little man, gathered up Ma parcel and said' that he was veyy sorry. But he did not look it.