FUN AND FANCY.
. ... •h ■ . • • • .. .••..•■•,•■■;■. i How easy it is to let the other fetfo* do T good for Mm: - • - ■-•- ■-<-r-::' i It take^-jaybqld man. to gotip> taflpr and : ask him to> $e£aif'>a* balf-wijrn: sgbzi fyaa& has not been paid for yet, 1 . ; " So they lode up the jury every night, do they;?? /;.". Yes y .otherwiße ';t3i^ r : might break loose and kill some of tlte- laiwyers." Evolution.;—" ln-. it. 1 true. ' JthaTj nien wad once monkeys, gran-pa?" "So they say, my deax". "'. . ." Then whatrwas ■■ the monkeys, then?" •'' . " . .' .- Wißdns: " I thought you said you wooM hot let yeur wife ride'a-oicycle.? 1 :^ ■Wedwon : ' "So I- did; ba^^'unfortoiafceiy, ; she" happened to Kear atout ik" '1, ';'. : •. •' ' Tommy : . '" (join' to the show, ter-nighii, Johnny?.' Johnny : "Naw. We're goin* to. have" a ..free show at. our' hpnse . to^. night. Pa's, goin' to put doyrri: a carpet." ; '-'■;•■ -"•;• ",V ' '";■- --,\Ah. Irish poacher, . up.; before a, magistrate, made this defence :,-~"lndade, your worships, il», only .l)ird ; I .shot .was *'a . rabbity. ■arid'T.'knwJkpd 'that J ftpwn ;wjtb,.-'a stick."'. ' r '.- : .'••■" '' T" ;■'';:''■%'""': '/ : ii :.' The' ■ Sisilti^ien^ai' One!:'' ■ '*' 'Alas.! snjiliiig,' fgee' /pb^ceais an .aihitig ; '' t i ';h^aite* 1 The Literal ■Idiot.f^ "lfc;i^ms to mS thitan'aching J»oth^'^6tild i)e;more Ekely :^ be there;* ' v '". ' 'Y'/' !; v ; ' :; ''r K'* I'^1 '^ Injured Innocence: "Yea,- she rtas' been Eaying. all manner of wicked things about me." Consftlatory Friend: ""You should not heed her, dear. She merely 1 repeafe what other people say". '••■..." - ' '.:■ Near-sighted Old Gentleman :," Can you tell me what inscription is on that board over these. ? " liish Rustic; '''.Sure'O'imin the same boat, son- ! It was moighty little schoolin' Oi had when Oi was a bhoy mesilf, suit ! ", ".' ;v, r* . ■■;■'■..•■ Do Vosux: "My grandfather, you know, lived tj;l ha, was ninety-eight:',' TrevprOaitiisiw : " W'till, my ' gji'aiiduipther died at tl:c age of. ninety-styen.". Brown: '<In iay fam'ly there are ..several' who are not . d»ad J'et!"_ . '. -,;'■•;'.. ■ Flyins: .High^-^rs •tyitourks':: 1 "They say tho M Faddens is puftanj'oji 'piles' vof 4t Jra lately. ' MosJXoian --^CX^iliey ar^ gittin'., into higlj. socje^.'r^heir .-'boy Btko . has , b'esn : hired ,. by' .-wait;" 'iy^tiit in'' jrofters :fer a .osddv.".; ■;■-':'"■ ~*~*j.r- --V s ■■. Mrs Ycun s lbvo : • • ;• TLesef ; '^mo wnto about 'how husbands 'should. be man- . .aged'— do..you"suppbs^.;ihoy;'mar'a<:o fliwr iusbaiids aaiy bsfcter thaivi\vc ci \ *"■ .jf t a ' Elders :. v " Do 1?. WJjy'.^Ji^.^hiivf ; ,i,^% you. know tliey haxen't My- liuEbirs^s r : "' '.-\ Mrs Ormonde:: "Wlir] % ftv matter Bobby ?:i You doc't/gahc:"^; kWjcnrcry^ ing after your father has .given, ypti fi.-Wt-ing.V Bobby: "^knowiLv^iJut-hrt -sSys I've got to sit dowii and ■.'think ■■oycy'ir. iicfore, I've' always' st<>cd ' xi\i- ittid : foVg-itten it."-"-' ' ;■. ' .••' ■•.'■; : '- ; -- :.' ;- ; :"V ' • 1 ." ; -- ■;■ '•" Teacher : '• Johiuiy , can 'ycu' tell : we -what is meant by 'stewaid"?.',''/.*. Johnny": "A teteward is a man thEit-doesfi't'miridlbia oath bnsihess. " Teacher :7 'l^gspj " ! did : yriu get that idc<T,-.? Jt ■ Jo'h'nhy':; '^^W^ij" 'tL'' IcOjked it up. in the djctionaryv^pd'^t 1 sn, ? <? :..\A. man who attends to". i^J^aira^ jDi.,ot)ief sii' .".
FUN AND FANCY.
Star (Christchurch), Issue 6496, 27 May 1899, Page 6
No known copyright (New Zealand)
To the best of the National Library of New Zealand’s knowledge, under New Zealand law, there is no copyright in this item in New Zealand.
You can copy this item, share it, and post it on a blog or website. It can be modified, remixed and built upon. It can be used commercially. If reproducing this item, it is helpful to include the source.
For further information please refer to the Copyright guide.
Log in