'ARRY'S CONVERSION.

Star (Christchurch), Issue 4749, 20 July 1883, Page 3

'ARRY'S CONVERSION.

Dxib Chjlblby,— Juet im up to town, lad, and put In a week on the spr*e, It's the jammieet l«k we'll be 'avin* v ever we 'a<3, you and me ; Ic'i along of the Salvation harmy irh&t's oom« tor to preaob and to pray, Whioh they've taken the theatre nightly, and ain't it as good as a play. M* talk about preaohin' and pwyin'— ah! there now— l thought yet'd look glum. Yah I 'aagitall, Charley, I think yer might know thii «]&' d better, ole ohum t " Too thin I" do yer say r not a bit on't ; don't see where tba lau<htor comes in t Odra'tyerf well all t cun say is jou ain't got a " true Bsase o( Bin." That's the patter, ole felle\ lor' bless yer it's easy enough (or to learn ; If yet can't think of aoythink elee Just groan when it comes to your turn. Mighty slow ? well I'll tell yer— when these ohapa first made their attack on this town Thee waa Tommy and Dick and yours tnily was all for a pnttin* 'em down j So when they oomes out with their badges and noifoimi galliant and gay, I gue«s you may bet your lasD dollar we went —but it warn't to pray. Well at first it was spioy— bo error— real Jam, sir, and Bsmethin' to spare ; Just didft't we frighten the women— O, Charley, jou afcmild 'ava been there. And then to oatoh oco ol their oaptioga or colonels or majors or win t, A goin' 'orao all by hisself like— oh, didn't we give it 'im 'at, Wot with eggt and with biiokbits etsettery, " which he never coasted npon ;" Do yer twig it from "Patience," say pippin, 1 ' When h« fi«t put that uniform on." Which. I prigged the badge oif o( hU bazzutn, and I when wo had just about done. " Look out, here's » bobby," Bays Dick, and there wa« an end to the fun. That's just how it all came about, for &• yon and me knows very well If a bobby or two's ia the way a feller's a fool to pity h-11. Lor' bleu yer, the oowards some folks are— l tell yer— the very next day When we »H rolled up as per usual, bnt not, as I said, for to ptay. Blow m«— the psalm singln* orawlers— they'd teen Mid thuj'd got the perlice, It'ii mighty hard times, I declare, that they oan't leave a ftDer at peace. Howi«roov»r, we had for to lamp it, for as I was sajia' just now, A ftiUoc'a a 100 l w>t»n there's bobbies it he goes for to kiok up a row. Well, Charley, they prayed and they proaobed, and they sang, and it tea* mighty drear, For the plaoe was that orowdsd with idjotfl, one 'adn't a ahanae for to olear. One bioke was a nigger— ao kiddin* — blaok under 'is shirt aa yar 'at, A regular Sambo j>o*r ianj, and ha sang very poorly —that's flat. If it waru't for them bloomin' bobbies we'd precious soon made the lot slink. For P»ith may move mountains my pippin, but it can't etand the wattle seed's stink, fon must choose the right soit you know, Chailey, and then when you split 'em— oh my 1 Bat thore— wh»fe the use o' my tilkin', *Bttt boy, as if i'Ou warn't fly t Bo.idep, m I'm tryin' to tell you, I've found a " mer« excell«nt way," Which, btin' interpreted, Charley, means I'm on a different lay. Don't think as I goes in foe prayin', and Bits o* the penitents' bench. Not unless I oan get, a good slant to sit close by a go d lookin' wenou; Then I groans, anl she sighs; "dear Bitter," I says, and "dear brother," cays she, "Do joe f«el converted t " she whispere, and I a;bs and I utUrs " That's me," Then we falls Hpon eaoh other's neokp, dear boy, in a couplo o* ornokg, And weepi floods of penitent tears down the smalls ot our mootual b*oks. And ehe lays her 'oad down on my shoulder ; " ilosanna," she faintly remarks, And I 'ng< 'er and 'owls 'allelujah— oh. Lor* ! it's the lummtost Urx. That's the lay as I'm on now, my pippin, and I think that yer needs must allow That irighUmin' the gals was a foci to the games yon oan 'aye with 'em now. BnoQ gala, too, as once won'dn'tlook at yours truly, now tips me the wink. There's daughters cf lawyer?, and dootors, and paTSont, and what do yer think— Vy 1 twigs my boss's own daaghter a singta' like blazes away, Bo I catoheg 'er heye, end I 'owls, though I didn't know just what to say, But I opens my mouth liko a gateway, and groanod, and ballerod and roared, And I finds her a waitin' outside, and 4 "Arry," says eba, "in tho Lord There is neither master nrr servant," "normalo, Miss, nor female," cays I. I ain't seen hot since, now I think on't, but for all that I'll bet yor she's fly. Now the beat of tie ole blaomin* bußicesß, dear Charhy, I tell yer, is this : That tho greater baokslider you've bacn the more oharmin' a convert you is. Leastwise if yer anyways 'andsome. Now, Tommy he Bays its 'amVuj, Don't coo any fun in It cohow; but tor, there, just look at his mag ; When he groans, and says he's converted, the gals won't tip him the touch. They tolla him to go to the Capting, so he don't believe in it mireh. I've been ton times converted already, and mean to be seventy times seven, For the gals likes the glory &' gottin' ago3d>lookin* sinner to 'even. Besides, Lor b'.oss yer, there's lots of 'em oomes for a bit of a spree j It's ju&t like goin' to ohurob, but a deal more easy and free. And * bo is to toll whoa you're hug gin' and squeerin' and kiesin' like mad, If you're "doia' it unto the Lord," or because you likeßitmy lad; And t tell yer it's mighty close quarters, aad what with the crowdin' and all, You bnd me must bo duffle, my pippins. If we o&&'t get our arm round a gal, Which if ahe don't like it- why, 'ong it— of coarse it waa brotherly love; And you drops it and tolls her to set her affeotions on thinga what's above. It's tho safest game over I played, and the crnmmiost. Roll up, old paJ, I'll lend jcr tho biige that I prigged from the oapting. \"oura faithfully, P.B.One thing I forgot for to tell rer ; they say that on OEe of these nights, While we're all ngoin* it like blnzee, the capting '11 tuxn out the lights ; ° 1 *2? v got near thftt etuotup aai 'orty Miss Thmgsbob, then if I ou, Jir ♦ Cbarley, what jam It 'will be, you «*ely won't