A Pirate's Tragedy.

Observer, Volume XXXII, Issue 21, 3 February 1912, Page 18

A Pirate's Tragedy.

BY MAX ADELER

WHEN. Mrs Jones looked out of the window she saw a lot of men carrying her oldest boy, Aleck, up the front yard on a board, while Bill, the youngest boy, walked by his side. When they brought Aleck in, and Mrs Jones got a good look at him, she began to cry. He was drenched from head to foot as if he had been in the water. His cheeks and his chin and his upper lip were red and swollen to an enormous size; a huge patch of hair was gone from the top of his head, and he had a general appearance of having been banged and battered in a most frightful manner. Aβ soon as Aleck was placed comfortably in bed, Mrs Jones entreated him to tell her what was the matter; ut Aleok only rol\o.<\ his head mourn fully, to indicate that he couldn't command utterance. Turning to Bill, who looked as if he had been run a couple of times through a thrashing-machine,. Mrs Jones saidi : "William, tell me this instant what is the matter with Alexander 1" "Well, you see, mother—you know the Dixon boys, and, the Ferguson boys ,and the. Cadbury boys* aad a whole lot of fellows, they said wouldn't it be a good thing to turn pirate and have a high old time sailing around and not going to school ? So they agreed to turn pirate and they asked me and Aleck' to join the band, and we did,. Jim Dixon, ne said, all pirates have beards, and so he gave us_ some ointment he got from a man who said it would produce whiskers, on. the smoothest face in two days. So we all rubbed it on, and that's what swelled my face and Aleck's so. All the boys' faces ate swelled, and Joe Cadbury cays his father'll lick him like thunder. "So when we were initiated, and me and Aleck had learned the grip, we cut across Potte' orchard toward the canal, and Potts' dog he got after us, and Jim Dixon appointed me , and Aleck a rear guard to keep off . the dog while the pirates retreated. And the dog he came so savage at me and Aleck that we climbed up a tree, but the limb broke and we fell ; right on the dog. t "So we up and ran j but just a& , we got to the fence, the dogjnjpped Aleck by his trousers, and. tore the whole thing away from, the euspender - down to tl>e kuee. Bi* the other pirates hollered for us to come on," and w.e went,, and they were just going to charge on an old qanalrbpat in the canal. There wasn't anybody, on the boat ; but Sam §ny<ter he fired a braes-barrel pistol so as. to pretend to kill the captain, and. the ball chipped the skin off the end of Aleck's nose. ••do waea blu pirates got aboard Jim Dixon appointed Aleok first maw and ordered him to go down inside of the boat to see how much gold was in the locker. There was no ; stairs, so they let Aleck down with a rope, and when he got down he gaid there was nothing there but mud ,t and water.

"But the next minute he began . to scream, and we looked in and saw Mrs McGrady's goat, that has been lost for two days, butting Aleck through the mud. He would rear up .and butt Aleck, then he would, draw back, and rear up again, and. butt Aleck, until Aleck didn't know whether he was a pirate or a Sunday school scholar. And Sam Snyder aimed at the goat with his pisrtol, but the goat suddenly switched.around, and the ball caught Alecka little on the knuckles. So we passed a rope down to. Aleck,, andhauled in on him and. got him. on. deck a good deal, discouraged, and out of wind. Aleck wanted, to play something else but pirate ; but Jim. Dixon said our glorious, career had hardly begun, and he'd, be ashamed to be a baby. "So Jim appointed Aleck a, mittee of. one to go down ajed fix. as slip-knot over the head of Mr&s JVloUi'udy's goat, so a» lo pull Urn goat up ;. and. Aleck,, ha- said • he, wouldn't go. So Jim he assembled a court-martial, and they decided that Aleck should be compelled to walk the plank for disobedience of the head pirate's orders. And then they run out a board over the edge of the boat, and began to shove Aleck along it, but he kicked, and bit, and scratched ; and, while they were a-fighting, Aleck fell overboard. Sam Snyder grabbed for him as he went under, and pulled out couple of handfuls of Aleck's but he sunk, and he'd a , dr oira€< i : if Jim hadn't tossed the rope %e>Mm. "So they pulled Aleck aboard ;, and Aleck, as soon as {ame to, he made a dash at aed somehow, I dunno how i% a s>. all the pirates got into a and, as. I was trying to pull . Aleck away,, somebody hit m© in. the nose ; and then a cour/jQ. ©f men came along,, and the jjir/ajiee raj\ away, all but. me and Avteck, w'no they had to< carry hoyuae on «& board. Isn't that so, Al.ook ?■" Al&tk a groan of assent,. andj them B3\'s mother hustled him. QfJr to> bed. The Joneses are thinkifrg; afeoiafe 'suing the Dixons for as- ' sault aEwl battery upon Aleck committed the piratical Jim.