Josh Billings' Philosophy.

Observer, Volume XXIX, Issue 12, 5 December 1908, Page 23

Josh Billings' Philosophy.

It iz a grate deal eazier to tell what yu don't kno, than, it is to hide what yu do kno. Politeness iz one ov the arts and. sciences. The easyest men to convince are those who are the most reddy to say " No." We are kreatures ov imitashun ; af u set the example and the rest follow. If yu give a beggar a dollar he probably will be thankful for it ; but if yu give him ten, he will aware in hiz mind that if yu hadn't been a mean kuss, yu would have made it twenty. Thare iz one subject upon which allmost every one kan talk well, and menny git eloquent upon it, and tnat subjeckt is themselfs. It iz just about az eazy to r.aize a child az it iz a lapdog, but it ain't allwuss as profitable. Never go to enny one for advice until yu have fully made up your mind what yu are going to do. If I have got to lift a log, I want to take holt ov it just I hay a mind to, not az enny boddy else sez. No man kan do away with hiz pashuns ; they were given us, not to eradikate, but to control. Philosophy teaches a man how to bear with grate composure the trials ov others, but he often fails in a combat with biz own. Good luk haz ruined more men than bad luk ever haz. The most degrading punishment that haz been discovered yet iz the toe ov a thick boot. , If yu kan call a man a liar with truth, yu kan add to it almost enny other krime with impunity. Modesty iz an exotick ; it doesn't seem to do well in our climate. Don't quarrel with enny man's religion ; yu kant prove that yure own iz right.