ALL SPICE.

Observer, Volume XI, Issue 648, 30 May 1891, Page 2

ALL SPICE.

,'. ■ ' '-" Job was probably the most precocious child on record. : He cursed the day he was born.

Johnny got his gun. didn't know it was loaded, , Aimed it at his sister and the gun exploded. , 'What do you say: "Is lunch ready'?". or "Is luncheon ready?" ' ' Neither. I usually say, " What the deuce is the matter with the grub ?" '

The newspapers are for ever speaking of the ' blushing bride,' Well, , when you reflect upon the kind of husband not a few of the brides marry, you cannot wonder that they should blush.

. First Man: ' What a proud fellow Jenkins is ! Look how high he holds his head !' Second dit ( to : ' No, he isn't proud ; but he's got a mustard-plaster on his chest, and the fumes from it tickle his nose !'

Mother : ' You should be more generous, Tommy, and always give your little sister half what you have.' Tommy : ' Would it be more generous to give her all ?' Mother : •Of course, my dear boy !' Tommy : ' Then I'll give her all my medicine tonight.'

Sympathetic Old Ladx (to convict) : ' Ah, my unfortunate friend, your fate is a hard one ; and, as she thinks of you here in this dreadful place, how your wife must suffer I 1 Convict (very much affected) : ' Wh-which one, mum ? I'm here for bigamy.'

' 'There was an annoying hitch in the great ocean scene in my play last night, ' said a young playwright, with a sad smile. • When the hero jumped off the raft to save the heroine, he got off in the wrong place, and one of waves kicked him in the stomach. It seemed to knock all the sense out of him, for he got up and walked ashore.' 1 What did the heroine do ? • She sat on a wave and laughed. 1