With A 'Four-Wheeler

Observer, Volume 9, Issue 524, 5 January 1889, Page 14

With A 'Four-Wheeler

— —-•«►— - - "OT&.Ol"l{ - WHEELEK? Where to, air '.' [:|^| What ! hup on thi' bo\ alongside me V Jjp-1- Higbt you are, sir. You're not goin' nowhere in pevtikkr, lionly \vfa;U a hour or two's drive . '■■ •Well, 'twixt you an' me— no olYence, sir--you're the kind o' rare I've often vend about but j very seldom see, as the song-book ,;ays. j ''Hexcuse me for askiu' the question, but i praps you're one o' them 'eve literary gents, as' puts "things in the payer ? Well, as you say, sir, that's tellin'e, and it was like my himperance to hask. Honly if so be you icaa a ncospaper gent, may be you would put in a word for has pore cabbies, Who, arter serving the Auckland public faithful £cr ig many years, has had to make way for the bloorain' tram cars, which was inwented to take the bread out of the mouth o£ the pore cabby, and perwkle n. jerky and unwholesome ride for thmppencc ' 'Taint no use you talkin' to me 'bout the honward march of predict'.— beggin' your parding, sir— what I says, and says emphatic, is— Blow the honward march of progress. The tubstitooshun of tram-ears for kebs («m f that's what it comes to) is a retrogradin 1 to the cheap arr nasty style, an' that's what I never could abide. 'What about ihe pore man, you say, sir? Well, I'm a pore man myself, anil what I says is : if the 'busses ain't good enough for the pore man without his wanting tram- cars --why, let the pore man walk. Them's ioy scntinrmks, sir, ' iYs 'ard enough as it is to fight ihe 'busses ; bnfc it' thrupp'ny rides is to be the horder of the d a y — •why, the kebman'3 hoccupashun'3_ gone, and that's what's the matter, sir. Yes, sir, this is the Hobson, and a very good "ouse it is, sir, which I've known Mr Tapper this long while, and— well, thank you kindly, sir, I don't raiud ii Ido ; mine's rum, sir. My best respecks. ' Drive anywhere I like ? Well, it does a lelicr good to get 'old oil a fare like you, sir, and r ave a talk about hour grievyanoes. If its all the same to you, sir, we'll go for a spin along the Kar-nngahape-road, and praps as for us Harch '111. •What's hour haverage hearnings ? Well, warious, sir, warious. Sometimes we clears hour two or three quid a week, sometimes we honly make a paltry fifteen or sixteen bob, and sometimes not that. We're hout in all weathers, sir, hail, rain, and shine, at the beck and call of the public, as I might say ; and in purshoct ov our prerfesshnn, sir, we runs a-many risks. What risks ? Why, bless yer, fares as dodges hout of the keb without payin,' fares as disputes the distance and the money, fares as tells yer aner a five mile drive on a cold night they hain't got no money, fares as summonses of you for using übusive langwidg3 (which some parties would make the Pope of Home careless about his langwidge, sir,) hall sorts of • deadhead ' fares, sir. • Yer got to keep yer weather heye hopen if yer drive a keb, take my tip, sir. Expects I come across some rum customers, sir ? Why, bless yer, if the police knew 'alf as much about rum customers as some of hus cabbies, they'd know more'n what they do, sir, aud don't you forget it! ' Vich kind o' fares do I prefer, speakin' general, ladies or gents, sir ? Well, speakin' general, I should say gents, sir. Without mean-

in' any disrespect to the sex, sir, ladies, take | 'em all round, is objectionable as fares. They j never ina\-o mistakes about the money, unless it is in wantin' to pay you too little ; and as for such a thing as a hextry sixpence on a wet night, i they'd never dream of it, sir. 'They generally make a bargain with you afore they start. They often say, ' Kebman, 'ow much 'ml you charge to drive ma to Ponsonby, 1 or wherever they want- to go. and they haggle with yer for halr-an-houv over a thrupp'ny bit. Then* there's the religious lady as tries to convert yer through the trap-doer in the roof all the time'ycr driving her. an' who shoves a tract and a sixpence short into your hand when she gets out. ' Ah, sir ! I could spin you a-iuany queer yarns about the keb ! What, goirr to get down here' sir ! Well, I must say I never felt bo sorry to loec a fare afore, sir, and that's a fact. Thank //ok sir : I see//"// aint forgot the hexlry sixpence, anyway, sir, ' Traps some other night I miyht 'aye the pleasure of picking you up agnin, sir, an 1 I'll tell you sew more about the keb ! C. A. Wll-KINS. j