A NEWTON" BOARDING – HOUSE KEEPER'S TROUBLES.

Observer, Volume 7, Issue 337, 23 May 1885, Page 3

A NEWTON" BOARDING - HOUSE KEEPER'S TROUBLES.

By Mask

" Yi:s, sir, if you come to that, I have seen a many Grange tilings since first I was obligated to keep a boarding-house," replied a Newton landlady on Y\'ednesuny, in reply to a question of mine ; *'and of course the life is not what one who has seen belter d ivs could wish — on the eontr.iiry, quite the revei-.se/' Here the lady, who was of uncertain age and somewhat vinegary aspect, coughed genteelly behind her hand and struck a Princess of Wales attitude. ''•.No. sir; if it hadn't been for a good-for-nothing husband, who won't do any work when it is offered to him, I shouldn't 'aye to lake in boarders and be slaving from one week's end to another tryin' to make both ends meet, in a manner of speakin', and never having a minute, as you may s-:ay, I can call my own. Not bat what I have my bit of money snug in the bank, I uni proud and likewise thankful *.o say. If it was not i'ov that and the consolations of religion (1 attend the Salvation Army services reg'iar when time will allow). I don't know what I should do. JUe'.irc ? V\'ell I might retire, to be sure, but : abit is second nature, sir, and eld dogs, as l>oler sr.ys, do not easy learn new tricks; not as I can call myself old, as looks younger than many who ts older. But what with one thing and another, 3'ou may believe me or not, the worry I have to put up witb is killing, as 1 tell Boler frequent, though 1 might just as well talk to the town-clock. What worry V Ah ! you would soon find out, sir, if you kep' a boardin'-'ouso " for a month. Why, just look at last week. A well-dressed gentleman drives up in a cab, quite promiscuous, as one might say. and asks if he can be accommodated, for a week or two with board and lodging; money is no objec' ; all he wants is the comforts of a 'ome. He looks at the rooms, and says the bedrooms are small (which they are, I won't deny, though hairier rooms are not to be found iv Auckland, if 1 say it) ; but he would 'aye, he said, to put hup with that, he supposed. Then he asked about meal-hours, and said 7 to 9 (which is my reg'iar breakfast time, and which I wouldn't alter for Queen Victoria on the throne) was too early for any Christian, -which shocked me, being a Christian myself, I hope, and out of my bed at half -past six, winter and summer; but not liking to offend the gentleman, I said nothing, but resolved to put a tract for him on his dressing-table the very first thing-. Sly dinner-time, 12 to 1, didn't suit either ; and tea, from 5 to G, would, he said, have been better as a dinner-hour, but he supposed when he was in Home he must do as the Koraans did, whereupon I made bold to tell him that I was a member of the Salvation Army, and did not hold with liomish ways at all. I also ventured to tell him respectful that lie must not expect hotel accommodation at a private boarding-house, and 1 'inted that payment in advancegjvas usual. He smiled, and ordered the caroian to bring up his portmanttle, which was that heavy the man could hardly carry it. And then he found he hadn't got any change, and asked if I could oblige him -\yith the loan of

half-a-.crpwn- to pay his-. cab are until next inpr"niug,.wheh he was .going to get a bank, draft c.'hfd. He was so pleasant and agree-?-able like that" l couldn't say ' ; no," although I set my face against lending money, as has too frequent given me cause to repent misplaced confidence.

The sharp gentleman was out all the next clay, and only came home after tea, and I had to got him scmetiiuig to cat private in the •sit ting- room, ihoii»!^ si gainst my rules ; but what could I do when he was tolling me constant that any ol">c with 'alf an eye could see that I had not been used to this spear of life? 'Mrs 13olev,' says he; quite confidential-Kite, 'you are a superior person;v.and .superior you can't help being ; it is "in your nature, ma'am, and must come out.' "'Mr Mobbsman,' I replied, ' I will not deny that I have seen better days ; it would be useless and wicked to deceive you.' lie gave me a pleasant kind of a wink and a ticket for the Opera, llon?e. though goodness knows it's not often I go to a theater, being against my principles, eapccially when it's four shillings to the dresscircle, which the pit suits me a deal better only for the larrikins ; though, to be sure, I shall never forget going to the Alhambry Theatre years and years ago in Old England, and the dancing was downright indecent. But there how I run on ! That was before I was foolish enough to ninny Boler as talked about love's young dream, find look at mo no ay keeping a, boarding-house in J*c\v Zealand at £l a week (washing included). Well, sir, to make a long- story short, Mr Mobbsman stopped a fortnight, and then went away without a word. I was sorry, of course, though I was glad, too, for he was that mysterious in his ways I sometimes thought he was a Booshian spy, or united Irishman, or something to do with dynauate. But his ways, I will say, were always gentlemanlike, as I can testify as ought to kno»w.a gentleman, I hope, when I see him, as my own mother was lady's-maid to the Duchess of Lambeth. Of course, I had the portmantle, and thought I should not be a loser, but just as I was thinking 1 of advertising- that the port mantle, would be sold' to clef rayexpenses a policenian called and told me Mr Mobbsman (which his name was no more Mobbsman than mine is) was in custody on a charge of burglary, and now he is in Mount Eden. The constable broke open the portmantle, and wo found it wasstuffed full of brickbats — and a way went ruy money. Ah, sir! you don't know "what it is to be a boarding-house keeper."