THAMES TITTLE TATTLE

Observer, Volume 7, Issue 160, 6 October 1883, Page 16

THAMES TITTLE TATTLE

A gentleman by profession . (a solicitor) warns a certain -widow (a housekeeper), on the Thames, that she had better draw her letters a little milder to a client of his on the Wairoa, as her last one was actionable, that Person having his case oetore tue Supreme Court last and no true bill The Tver always intends a high compliment when the editor of that sparkling journal iuforins the general public that Mr So-and-so and lady took their departure by the Eoto- - rnahana this morning" giving the ordinary reader to suppose that hi& lawfully wedded wife was left at home lamenting, while he, the wretch, was gallivanting with some specially doubtful character, To us, in our sini■Dlicity, the term " his lady," has a very queer sound to - say the least, and, when used with reference to the wife of any respectable citizen, conveys an impression the areve^-se of respactable. The honourable title of wite *■ aieed not be shirked for the spurious one of " lady " by either rich ov poor, bond or free Bather trying for the springs of Mr Wight's carriage- taking so many stout ladies for an airing. He must select some of Pharoah's lean kine if he means that vehicle to last. A short time ago we heard of a rather novel courtship. A cevtftin young gentleman was seated on a sofa in 1l certain snug little parlour ; and upon the same sofa, a little distance away, was a fair young damsel, and an animal of the canine species was lying on the floor between them. As is often the case with gentlemen in this position, he was at a loss to know how to ascertain the lady's feelings towards him, but at last hit upon a happy idea. Looking down at pussy, and affectionately stroking her, he asked, "Does your mistress love use, pussy ?" Her mistress at once cxclaiined. " Say yes, pussy." Something of a similar nature took place here the other day, pussy sharing, in this case also, the gentleman's confidence, although m «uite a different way. A well known newspaper, reporter, who has for some time entertained feelings of the deepest regard towards pretty (?) A.J., was gazing into her eyes in an ecstacy of bliss, when suddenly he observed on a certain finger a ring. Oh, horrors', his astonishment and despair can be better imagined than described, and in his agony he struck the poor cat a leucf ul blow. Its recovery is doubtful, and its bones are still in an a{ic)ken state Another good mau gone -wrong. A certain traveller for Messrs L. D. N. tow 3 vengeance on the poor innocent Observer, and actually offers a reward to anyone wh« will inform him • who the vile man is who corresponds to that diabolical publication. At an alarm of fli'e last week, the agent of the JNorwicb Union mode the fastest time on record from the Exchange to the Star corner. He showed such a turn of speed that Jim Buggot has serious intentions of trainin' him for the forthcoming sports at Eilerslie, on the Prince of Wales Birthday Tot's leg is getting better. He will soon b-' out with the boys holpmgto breat the girls' hearts What did Joe have in the handkerchief that made tho^e two young ladies scream out so ? Was it alive? .Ted isthe happiest man. in the Wa'iotahi. All ia ready ; the rockers areon thecradle The winner of the District Belt, F., is learning to dance, so that -•when he wins the Champion Belt, next year, he will not liave to play gooseberry at the ball Owen, you rascal, - you-are always iv mischief , what made yovi send that of young suckers to the young lady of the Lady Bo wen Barjoo Peter says, the reason he has not won the District Belt yet, is becauso ho does not. want to i%ake all' the prizes, he wants to encourage the young i iihots. Tailioa till next February Jimmy, as;M O.of * xJTe dances, ought to setabettcr example to tho#ancers. ' run against a snag some night, when you rush in and' collar other chaps partners in the middle of a :4 ;5et...V,.-3Po<>r?o'tanui"isiuj trouble, he did. not take my abbut seeming a-bTijlldog and six-shooter, thinking ; d^fili'.tfuuil y formwqivld strike^t'error into the breast of &^ltaiWiiaf#n'i§t^fio?t^ SviS£Mk^-ii> v rtTWp*i'nTia^wa9 returning jQitbwri, whence

loss of a coat-sleeve, no rear to his pants, and his hat all bashed in, but owing to his youth, doctor thinks he will pull through. Moral: Young men take the advice of people older than yourselves.

1b Aeoha. — There is a slab-sided bark who delivers duns on account of a defunct firm, residing here who, for cool presumption, and putting on airs and aide, intermixed with a dash of ignorance, cannot be matched anywhere. The other day he met a former mate— a rough and ready digger, whom he had known in the days of his adversity. On meeting, tho digger, •who was just off the hills, and dressed in the honest garb of American drill and clay, exclaimed, " Hello ! Bill, how are you dishin' it, mate P" When W. replied, with a look of offended dignity, " A.rrah 1 an' do ye know who yer spakin' to P The nixt time ye spake to me, wid ye be plazed to address me as Mister W. ?" Exit the miner with a grin like a Cheshire cat. He has had to relate the yarn over and over again to his mates, who always receive it with roars of laughter Harry has had a relapse on Lizzie. The hatchet has been buried, and the pipe of pence smoked What taking ways X., the shoemaker, has got.

Waiobongomai. — Harry must be in love. He sprung last week for three or four hands, what, to every ones knowledge, never happened before. Your girl at tho Thames will not be contented with your profusion. Alf. and Miss P. ought to mate haste. Everybody is anxious to congratulate you I hope we will have soon a racecourse here. Jack Shea has alone enough racehorses to fill a programme, and there aro Murphy's and Gillou's horses too Miss K. lias great skill to keep a dozen lovers to the same tune. Poor fellows !... . . .Very rough on Tom it. 's beer being stopped. W eath erboarding by the square ought to pay for that, for the short time he has to be single Louis will cut the shine this summer, with the long coat and the black pony, hut I advise him, when riding out with a lady, to keep on his own side. The near side looks too niuch like a shoemaker What's the price of wool Verity ?