BREVITIES.

Thames Star, Volume LIX, Issue 16644, 14 November 1925, Page 5

BREVITIES.

(By AGATHA GREEN.) SONGS OF SAFETY FIRST. . 1 Down in the creek Sleeps Jerry Bass The bridge was narrow He tried to pass. At 50 miles Drove Ollie Pidd He thought lie wouldn’t Skid, hut did. At 90 miles , f 1 Drove Edward Shawn The motor stopped ; But Ed. kept on. Here he sleeps One Johnny Fonker He rounded a turn Without a honker. Sing a song.of stoppages Father full of ire, Five-and-twenty tintacks Sticking ip each tyro Miles away from garages, Haven’t brought a spare, But what an education To hear our old man swear! ***•.<* A. writer says the motor-car lias helped us to see more of the world. Yes, hut which world—this or the next? * * * * A fashion writer predicts that summer hats for women will be much dearer. If this prophecy proves correct, it is possible that husbands will be fashion* able once again. * * * * During a circus performance in the South, a donkey kicked a negro at* tendant on the head. The animal is expected to recover, but is bound to be lame for some time. * * ¥• * “The Rev. Stanley will conduct' bath services at the Street Baptist Church.” —Church notice, South Island paper. - ' -.- . A case of cleanliness being next to godliness. s •'> * * * * According to an official report, 20 policemen were bitten by dogs during the year. Statistics prove that very few dogs ever go hack for a second helping. * * * * An objection to the short skirts is that it makes women look shorter. Against this, however, there is th© consideration that it usually makes men look ever so much longer. * * * * Dunedinites are said to he endeavouring to secure a live lion as an Exhibition emblem. It is suggested that several coloured balloons he used, to assist him to keep his tail up. w * * * Mr. W. B. Maxwell says that w© have as our birthright the finest literature in the world. It is understood that when the pronouncement was made he had not read the Thames Borough Council’s schedule of .water .charges and by-laws. r * * * # A hair-stain advertisement asks all women, “How old will you be at fifty?” Thirty-nine, of course. "# ' # * * Scientists have discovered one hundred thousand germs on the bank note. Lucre always was filthy. # * An English paper asks, “What do our athletes do in their spare time?” From what we know of them, we should say they play ludo. * - * * A visiting American asks where do Auckland girls get their lovely colour. . Forward, the chemists. ► «i * * LITTLE-KNOWN FACTS OF HISTORY. From the Answers to a School Examination Paper:— 1. The peasants had no say in tha Government and were used by the autocrats chiefly as a source of food. ;•? 2. Victoria had been married many times, but always secured one capable of his work. 3. Melbourne acted as * father to Queen Victoria. Peel didn’t. Peel objected to the Queen’s chambermaids, and the chambermaids went out with the Whigs. 4. John Wesley began life very young. 5. Wesley rose at 5 a.m., and he had many followers. While John preached, Charles accompanied him by singing hymns. 6. Habeas Corpus was put in prison and while there wrote the “Pilgrim’s Progress.” 7. The Munroe Doctrine is the doctrine of th© Presbyterian Church. It was drawn up by Dr. Munroe, a Scotch minister. 5. Nelson lost an eye at Corsica, but what was that to him! 9. There were no schools in England before 1870, and where there were any the children didn’t have to go.