BREVITIES.

Thames Star, Volume XXV, Issue 4667, 22 February 1894, Page 2

BREVITIES.

Oddfellows' picnic on Saturday. A close-fisted man—the pugilist. Bengal enjoys three harvests yearly Jagson says it is a lucky man who'can dnenmiuate between a barber's shop and a hack stand. r " A matrimonial advertisement winds ud as follows; "Fortune no object, but should require the girl's relations to deposit £500 with me as security for her wood behaviour. *

A cable says that a mob of five thousand peasants crucified a womr 4n a t Retaeali. in Hungary, on the ground that she was a witch.

Softly--" I'd have you to understand. "r» th t at J™ a?' «ich a fool as I look."— Sarcast-." Wei ' ch en, you bate much to be thankful for.'*

" With the., exception of' procrastination' you are the greatest thief of time I ever heard of," remarked the Judge to a prisoner in whose po3kets no fewer than la watches were found. Teacher—Define memory. Dull boy-* IU what we always bes till we come to speak a piece. There is only only one pure rhyme with the world Editor—and that is creditor. Legge has been sentenced to three years' imprisonment for embezzling monies belonging to the Ljudon Bank of Aaß» tralia.

Precept and practice! A well-known Sydney Socialist prates on the platform above the brotherhood of man, but s»me^'-'. how oannot support his own children with-% out the pressure of a maintenance order. Conductor (deliberately)—« Your fare Miss.' Susceptible Maid (nervously)— ' Oh, sir, I—you men are such flatterers. 9 Conductor—'Beg pardoo, thruppenee, it you please.

Mistress—' I should like to know what business that policeman has in my kitchen every night in the week?' Cook-' Please mum, I think he's suspicious of me neirlectin' me work, or somethin'.' Husband-* I am going on a yatcb/fng cruise for a few day's, but I'm afraid TO be sea sick.' Wife-' Qh, no fear of that dean you should be something of a sailor.' H,— How do you make that out V W — «I ye seen yon half seas over many a time * An American says that from his late experienoe of English weather, he should imagine that * Rain, Britannia!' ought t O be as popular in England as' Hail Columbia V is in the States.

She—" There is a wonderful fucination about the stars; don't you think •oF" H* - " Indeed, there is." She—" I've forgot" tea most of my astronomy, though. TW I believe, is Venus, but which wAdatfv