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Thames Star, Volume VII, Issue 2021, 26 June 1875, Page 2

'Mock Turtle.—Kissing before com- . pany, and quarrelling afterwards. - 'y < ~' ■-" Railway Altebkative.— Continuous breaks or continual smashes.—Punch. The Latest Irish Fashox in Hbad- " geab.—A Home Rule bonnet with ;no " crown. '■-•''""■' ' •' ----- .:';: ' A Night Aiabm.— An Aberdeen po-= ': lipeman, passing a house one night, heard a woman screaming, " Oh, Henry, Henry I Come here- quick. ' Susan, mother, the baby ! " Gallantly breaking '} in the door; arid fiishing .up stairs, the . : officer found that the baby had just cuta tooth. . What is that which is both innocent and wicked, although' it never did any? thing ?—-A candle. ' .'^; A " spiritualist" family at ChittendenV Vermont, advertises the pric«. of board ''including seances." "JSTevee so many marriageable ,-girli and so few rich fathers," was the, verdict at one of the fashionable watering places this autumn. A man has been fined 85dol. in Delaware for ocntempt of court in calling the presiding judge "a bloated rhinoceros." . The .Detboit Boy.—The average Detroit youth sits up late, and when 6 o'clock in the morning comes he is in his soundest sleep. .The father, depend* on him to make a fire, and he turns over in bed, and calls out, " Solomon, it's 6 o'clock !" Boy dreams of chasing a rabbit- into a hollow log, and, while, he is hunting around for an axe, the old man calls outj ft Come, - Solomon I".- Boy's , dream changes, and he thinks he is husking corn to get money to go to Dan Rice's circus. Ho is making the ears fly when the old man rips out, " Sol-o-mon Spring-book!". Boy mores uneasily, and dreams that he '

is playing ■base.Vballii-au'd&ees a crowd of admiring spectators seated on the top rails of the fences. "If that boy don't 'rouse, I'll make him think .... he's sent for. Oh, Sol! Oh!'; :The boy" dreams he is loafing around the Opera-house door, and boring people for " checks," andho is about to get one whentheold man slips up, pulls tho quilt off, hammers away at him with the hairbrush, and chuckles, " Thero ! I .guess -you woh't/wanfe me to wake you 1 up " more than 14 times more !" As the boy pulls on his pants, and gets into his vest, he mentally declares that he'll run away that very day and become a prate.— Detroit Free Press. Abstracted. —A thief who fell into a fit' of abstraction, and got lost in thought, after wandering awhile in his own mind, found himself at last in the arms of a policeman. Very Hard Lines.—-The railways. •■;A; Kun or Ltjcs;.—^inningjirace.;