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Thames Star, Volume IIII, Issue 1734, 24 July 1874, Page 3

'Ca tjtion .—Ho st —'' Just another we o clrap Ifore you go " Guest —" Is Tn, na, a'jr tiik' nae. mair ! I'm in a new lodging', and I'm no vera weel acquainted wi' the stair! " —Punch: ' " Hoist with His own Pomade !''— Customer, worried into it: "Well, I don't mind taking a small bottle." Barber : " Better 'avc a two-shilling one, sir: it'olds four times as much as the other." Customer (turning upon him) : (>, then, if I take this shilling bottle, I shall bo done out of half my moneys worth! Then I wont have any!" (Escapes in triumph.) "I say, Higgins," said a fellow to that aspiring but as yet unappreciated tragedian, "I met a rich old gentleman in the city who declared he would give a hundred pounds to see you play Hamlet." "You don't say sop'"' replied Higgins. " Fact, I assure you ; and what's more, I'm positively sure the old chap meant it." "By Jove, then, it's a bargain! " Higgins cried; "I'll play it for my benefit. But who is he ? " " Ah, to be sure, I didn't tell you. Well, he's a blind man." Higgins never spoke to the wretch again. Ex-King Cacobau.-^ A Native Melody. Cacobau, do Fiji King, To rpsign Ins *ceptre mean : Bfi-y wist) and prudent thing,; Cede him ihr'oii9 to Er-gland'a Queen. Cacobau h&nv all mnde square ; Get, two tliou'iind pounds a y.*ar : Free from trouMo and from care, I Cacobau he drink him beer. Coo'ie question pettled now Like it never waa afore. Pufc exchequer ttiaight.; allow ITijis catee meniio more.. , . .-,j : Every chief he say, " Well done!" Ritovo, Tui Cakau, Mnafu, nil; and »houfc, each one! :.. " Hip ! Hoorr.y for Cacobau, " <. — Punch. ALLiaATons and Ducks. —"I suppose," said I, "that there's no doubt about an alligator's eating ducksP' v "'Doubt about it P " repeated the captain. " Bless my buttons, you ask this yere Cap'n Peters livin' yere at Enterprise about it. He knows. I seen him 35 years ago with Aithur Sumner an 1 three Inglish. lords — their names was Sykes—ashootin' ducks up above Persimmon Island nigh on to Thorn-hill, an' the 'gators tuk every duck clean. • Thar was Cap'n Peters an' all the lords kivered up in the maiden cane, a poppin' away like porter bottles, an' the ducks a fallin' like rain, in a little set-off from the river. As fast as a duck fell a' 'gator picked him up. Thar was three 'gatcrs in the set-off, an' the way they tuk down the ducks wus a caution to snakes. You ought to hey seen Peters an' the Inglish lords when they stopped shootin' an' begin to look for the ducks. Thar wasan't a duck in sight, but thar wus three 'gators with their heads % out of water, a looking at the Inglish lords an' a saying, ' Bully for you, boys! We don't know your names, but jour a doin' us a power of good.' It didn't take the Inglish lords long to get tired 6' duck shootin.' The 'gators wusn't satisfied with taking their ducks, but they made away with three of their blooded retrievers, i Lordy, young man, next' to a nigger a 'gator loves an Inglish retriever.', —New I York Sun Florida Letter.