SOME FRESH HOWLERS

Timaru Herald, Volume CXXV, Issue 18542, 12 April 1930, Page 14 (Supplement)

SOME FRESH HOWLERS

INTELLECT AND INGENUITY. Another excellent collection of “howlers,” by H. Cecil Hunt, has just been issued by Ernest Eenn, Limited • London). Under various classifications it contains gems, cut and uncut, from all parts of the world. It is a real laughter book, full of rich vintage of juvenile intellect and adult ingenuity. The author in his preface notes one instance from the Entrance Bursary Examination in Chemistry at a great university: “Carbon is also found in the form of the diamond which is crystalline and very hard, being used to cut glass.”

Under the Biblical division we find that: “Job had one trouble after another. He lost all his cattle and all his children and then he had to go and live alone with his wife in the desert.”

“How did David drive away the evil spirit from Saul? By flinging a stone at his head.”

The end of a glowing account of King David’s virtues: If David had one fault it was a slight tendency to adultery.

Abraham was the father of Lot and had ten wives. One was called Hismale, and the other Hagar. He kept one at home and the other he sent into the desert where she became a pillow of salt in the daytime and a pillow of fire by night. John the Baptist was beheaded for dancing with Herod’s wife. History and Politics. Henry the Fifth was rather a good king, only like many other kings he often went mad. Mary, known as Bloody Mary, was not nearly such a bad sort as people in Elizabeth’s reign made out. In fact, she was not nearly as bloody as she seemed and it must be remembered she had five step-mothers. Edward the First tried to conquer Scotland. He thought he had tamed Scotland, but Edgar Wallace arose with 20,000 men, and Edward rose with 80,000 men, and Edward won after a battle. Karl Marx is a character in "The Third Round” by Sapper. William the First had a bell rung so that everyone should go to bed. This and the Doomsday Book were called the Fudle system. The chief work of the British in Egypt since 1880 has been the extermination of the sphinxes and the evacuation of old caves. The fate of Prince Charles was sealed at Culloden and he flew to France via Sky. Literature and Grammar. From a Kindergarten essay: The cow is very useful to us. He gives us ivory from his horns and milk if it is a lady. Essay on the stage: As well as real , actors and actresses there are those who we go to see for charity. These are called immature. An interjection is a sudden explosion of sUndi