Signs for Husbands.

Timaru Herald, Volume XIC, Issue 13330, 6 July 1907, Page 3 (Supplement)

Signs for Husbands.

Married men should certainly wear a prominent badge or token to distinguish •them from those outside the fold, writes Kedle Howard, in a humorous article in the Rapid. I am quite aware., of course, that the majority of married men have "bagged" written all over them. There are half a hundred ways in which the observant may distinguish the benedict. For example, the married man generally carries an unbrella. No single man, unless he happens J.o Jive with his mother or sisters, ever carries an . umbrella. The married man, again, is neat. The bachelor, on the other hand, runs to extremes. He is either odiously smart or ridiculously shabby. Tne married man rarely moves to and fro upon his way unburdened by three of four parcels. The bachelor refuses to carry anything heavier than an evening paper. Where, then, will. you say, is the necessity for the label? Herein it lies: The habit of observation is not given To aIJ, and, further, there is still the minority of benedicts who are cunning enough to preserve the airy, careless, tinattiebed grace of the bachelor. Spinsters of all ages, I am glad to think, will agrep. with me. They s-re all haunted by the awful possibility of wis+iug a diamond scarf-pin or a pair of gold dreve-linkr? on rome other woman's husband. It might happen to anybody. Some fluffy-minded chaperon, introducing Miss Peterkin to Mr Lascelles-Robicson, omits to mention that Mr Lascelles-Robin-:on is a married man with five children. Ten minutes later it is beyond the power of the chaperon to repair the omission, for Miss Peterkin has accepted Mr Robinson's invitation for a run in his motor-car. Presently, it begins to rain, but Miss Peterkin, though her clothes and, her complexion are rapidly bscoming spoilt, does not lope her temper. She smiles and brains and assures Mr Robirt.on that a good drive in tlie pelting rain is her favourite hobby. Mr Robinson is veiy attentive, he .s the embodiment qf tact; it peeres nat.ual, somehow or other, that he should asvime a protective attitude.. Miss Peterkin can fee that he is pleased with her for notbeing crors. She shakes) half a gallon of water from the brim of her hat, and soiiles away with redoubled vigour. When they return, a lady of middleage and curiously set expression is waiting in the shelter of the porch to receive 'uem. Mr Robinson's protective manner vanishes in a instant. He even becomes 'a little i brusque, and pretends to b? busy with his silly cylinders, whilst Miss Peterkin descends fro mthe car unaided. Then the wretch exclaims" cheerfully, " Hullo, clear! Oh, Miss Peterkin, allow me to introduce you to my wife !" Puzzle : What should Miss Peterkin do? P'uch tragedk'ttas are being enacted every day, and only remedy, so far as I can see, k the labrl. But what form shall the label take? The old-fashioned ring, obviously, 13 quite useless. Mr Robinson would probably be wearing gloves v.-uilst driving his motor-car. If the r-ing were passed through the nose, tlio married mun would certainly be 1 .belled, but there are several arguments against this drastic course. The operation would add a new terror to marriage, rnd we all know that that is not desirable. How would it be, I wonder, to !>ave married men t.atooed between the eyjs? This would not be disfiguring—at any rat.'. Ihey would soon £•_!. used to it—and there is not much chance of constructing a cap or hat in .such a way a 7, to hide that particular jwrtion of the free. As to the discomfort of the operation, that is nothing. ' You will not hit on a better solution of a long-slanding evil. As; to tha M-tunl device, the wife's monogram would look pr-etty and tastrful. In the' case of a widower, it would be easv to run an ''''iique