THE ONE-EYED MAN.

Taranaki Herald, Volume LXIII, Issue 144778, 7 September 1915, Page 7

THE ONE-EYED MAN.

AND SOME RED-TAPE OFFICERS WHO WERE NOT SPORTS. (By the London Representative of the K Sydney Sun.) This is the Odyssey of the One-Eyed Man. When Uio hast contingent tor the front was enlisted in Melbourne, he joined it. The medical officer who «.a mined him passed him as thoroughly sound and fitted for soldiering. He reported himself at the camp at Broadmeadows, and none there strove more diligently to learn the rudiments of campaigning. Ho was the brightest and briskest and the most industrious and diligent member of his company. He delighted his officers, he pleased his instructors, ho was popular with his fellows, and he was the pride of his friends. One afternoon a huge transEort hauled alongside the Port Melourne pier, and into it swarmed many hundreds of brawny fighting men, including our hero. Sauntering across the seas headquarters decided that all the soldiers must be inoculated. Serum was injected into their muscular frames, and 99 per cent, of them “took” the first time their skin was punctured. Our hero was one of the few unfortunates whoso system resisted the vaccine. The fighting spirit was apparently so inherent in the man that his red corpuscles threw ud entrenchments which the serum could not penetrate. The ship’s doctor—of course, he was also an Australian army doctor—examined the soldiers with the combative systems, and, as doctors will, sought inspiration, if not tell-tale symptoms, in the men’s eyes. He lifted the lid of one of our hero’s eyes, and discovered nothing of any moment. He lifted the lid of the other, and was horrified when the eye fell out and rolled away to the scuppers. A SURPRISE. It is difficult to say which of the two men was most confused. Our hero recovered himself first, and earnestly said to the doctor, “You’ll be a sport, sir, you won't give me away. Pm as good a fighting man as anybody on the ship.” Tears of mortification welled up in the plucky follow’s eyo. Tho doctor was a sport. “I’m only concerned about your vaccination, not about your vision,” he said, goodhumouredly. The troopship completing her mission, another medical man took over hor soldier passengers. Tho doctor who was a sport thought that he would best serve our hero by taking his successor into the secret, and thus avoiding another embarrassing scene. His colleague was not a sport. He was one of those men with enlarged consciences. Ho considered it necessary to report the matter to the O.C. Filled with trepidation, the OneEyed Man faced his colonel. He thought it was best to appeal to him direct rather than be dealt with as Private No. 00000. The 0.0., a paternal man, lent sympathetic ear to his story, and to the heartbroken “You won’t turn me down, sir, will you?” responded, “Don’t you worry, 1 do not feet called upon to make a martyr of you.” The One-Eyed Man went on his way rejoicing, and swore by all his gods that he would earn the Victoria Cross ten times over to prove his gratitude. But he had ■ counted without the R.A.M.C. Still another medical inspection was instituted. The 0.C., whilst winking at his soldier’s defect, did not think that he ought to commit a fraud, however triling and innocuous, upon the R.A.M.C. Ho told the shining light about the One-Eyed Man, and the R.A.M.C. doctor promptly announced that he could not be classed as a fighting man, nor be permitted to serve his King and country at the front. At the end of his long journey on the eve of the achievement of all his ambitions, the One-Eyed Man was cast out despondent, desperate, VICTORY AMD DEFEAT. Three miles away a Canadian contingent, having finished its probationary period of training, was under orders to move at once across to Franco. Three hundred Canadians were directed to join a transport at X—. To thwart the German submarines tho troopship was loaded in black darkness. Only 299 Canadians were there to answer the roll-call, but SOO wore registered as “present.” The One-Eyed .Man had thrown away his distinctive cap and become a Canadian. Upon reaching French soil the Canadians were at once entrained for Ypres, and though the secret of the new recruit was known to most of them, it never got to their officers’ ears. When they arrived at their appointed destination 25 of them were sent up to a front trench. They crept up to it with the artifice of the backwoodsman, and tho One-Eyed Man was able to teach the Canucks something about the trick of. squirming snakewiso through the grass. Once within the trench the liouten-ant-in-oharge, a methodical man, called the roll. Each man had to give his name that his identity might be clearly established, because audacious German' spies have not shrunk from insinuating themselves amongst parties crawling toward the front trenches. On the spur of the moment, the One-Eyed Man gave a name. It was not on the officer’s list. Thera was agitation, excitement, and explanation. The young officer was divided between a sense of duty and the promptings of a good sportsman. Duty prevailed. If the One-Eyed Man was wounded, he could not be officially a charge upon Canada. So the One-Eyed Man was told that he would have to return to the rear. Dismayed by his misfortune and angered beyond endurance by his rotten luck, he was filled with bitter hatred of life, and scrambling out of the trench, ho walked leisurely away in full view of the Germans. Incredible ' though it may sound, not a shot was fired at him. At the rear he was an Ishmael. He belonged to no regiment, he owed allegiance to no officer, ho had no rights or privileges. His uniform was a passport. His ready wit provided him with a passage back to England. He took out his glass eyo. He procured a pink eye-shade. He made his way to a port whore hospital ships were departing for England. He was allowed on board amongst the wounded, and the instant he 1 got into contact again with his countrymen in Great Britain, hope sprang up again in his breast, and he besought the connivance of a Federal officer who could have secured his inclusion in the ranks of tho fighting men. But the officer, impregnated with the. particularism of the War Office, bowed the One-Eyed Man out of his room instead of extending the glad hand. The One-Eyed Man is still on this side of the Equator. He is still thirsting to kill some of the Empire’s enemies. If it were left to you, would you send, him to the front or would yon send Jiim homo£