THE "SATURDAY AFTERNOON SOLDIER."

Taranaki Herald, Volume XLII, Issue 9840, 28 October 1893, Page 1 (Supplement)

THE "SATURDAY AFTERNOON SOLDIER."

On one of the Volunteer "ranges in tbe North is an old Irish sergeant who went through three wars — the Crimea, the Indian mutiny, and ths Chinese, and during the whole o£ that time never received a single wouni. Old W ,ashe is called, occasionally acts as marker at the targets, and vis utter recklessness has become a proverb. 1 ilo bus been known to walk forth from behind the martlet without tho slightest warning, and touch up a bull's eye which did not quite satisfy him, or to note the exact position of a shot. At all remonstrances he would sniff couu-mp^ tuouflly. "Me bn aho, ?" he would nsk. " Why, I've been through three war-r-rs and was never shot yet. Pai« 1 phnt's a bit o' lead flying through tho air ?" and h« would assume ari'uiiHude of rtisgUßt. ' ' It actually oronrred, however, ut lust, and ho wns shot through 'iho ahoaldrr For i. moment, hs i'rL(ju-utl_- happetiH viUi rifli ehi'fa, Bin:h is llx'ir teit'ilile iurjo, iin dm not kuuw uu was struct ; then, when he observed the blood streaming down his sltevo he commenced' to walk dowiijthe range right ia tho line of fire. It was seen that 1 souielhiug was Wroaj^. aud severaJ Volun<eors hurried to mebt him. As thoy did so ue tottered and had tv be carried* " Shot," he t;roai ed, wi b a look of, Bhaine j " shot, and by a Saturday afternojn soldier."

THE TONGUE-TIED BAhBER. A.N uptown barber has arranged a unique contrivance by which he *is not only enabled to save himself considerable au-

noyance, but also turns the table on some of his customers who nave been "guying" him at a tremendous rate. Strange as it may seem, this barber is tongue-tied. Right in front of the chairs he has arranged a number of wooden slats. One side is perfectly plain, but when a jelly customer comes in for his shave, and tries to work off some of his fun at the expense of the knight of the razor he finds that "he's not in it." Here is one of the conversations which occurred on Saturday :—: — " How do ?" asked the customer, as he - settled back in his ohair. . . Mr Barber never said a word, but be pulled a string, one of the slats revolved, and the word "Great" stared tho questioner ia tbe tace, The latter was stumped, and he kept quiet for a while. He eyed the slats, and then ventured the query, '{How's trade?" .. ; , • Another string was pulled, T aad another slat showed the word " Tough." " Well, that beats me," said the customer. He was a regular, and paid the ;i tonsorial artist once in two weeks, every-pay-day, and started to leave the shop. • Then ha was tapped on the shoulder, another string was pulled, and the admonition, or command rather, " Pay np," looked at him. He. did so, but ho says he won't try to " guy" that barber any more.