CRACKERS.

Taranaki Herald, Volume XXVII, Issue 3072, 22 March 1879, Page 2

CRACKERS.

" 'Tis pleasant, through the loopholes of retreat, To peep at such a world ; to see the stir Of the great Babel, and not feel the crowd." — Cowper.

The prophet Te Whiti appears to be the moving spirit at Parihaka. The Natives, who are extremely superstitious, have placed implicit belief in his statements that he would restore to them their confiscated lands at Waimate in March, and more wonderful stQl - he would enact, the miracle of raising ' the dead to life. One Maori, who had lost his wahine, fully believing in the proposed resurrection, took with him a full wardroqe for his wife, so that she should nob appear in puris naturalibus. The subtle Graft of Te Whiti was equal to the occasion — there were other Marches, and he urged them to exercise patience. * Ornithologists know it to be a well-estab-lished fact that certain species of birds, and many peculiar to Now Zealand, are very susceptible to light, and easily attracted by glare. Such an occurrence happened a few nights ago, when a winged intruder caused a little consternation in a New Plymouth household. A married couple had retired to rest, leaving the window open and a lamp burning. Presently something flew in and commenced to flutter against ihc walls and ceiling. At first the inmates put their heads under the clothes, but afterwards, gaining confidence, they simultaneously leaped out of bed and seized hold of their shoes and a broom with which they commenced a combined attack on the right and left wing of the enemy. The exercise was warm while it lasted, but eventually the imprisoned captive was' smitten down, and proved to be a very fine specimen of the kingfisher. A gentleman recently arrived here, and who had been us< <l to bathing ac Scarborough, Margate, and e\ en B nilogne, where the utmost freedom ib allow al, in happy ignorance of the Draconic h<£\ erity of our laws and law protectors, enjoyed a dip at a secluded part of the beach the other morniug, .and whilst returning with two towels over his shoulder,

met a lady of his acquaintance taking her matutinal constitutional. Upon his revealing tlie fact to her that he had been indulging in a little aquatic disport, the fair dame raised her hands hysterically, and exclaimed — " Good Heavens ! you'll have Inspector oa to you, and I shall be a witness !"^ As an eye-witness afterwards remarked, their walking together with two towels looked very much as though they had had a mutual bath.' 'The alma mater of the people has been wrecked and scattered to the winds by an inconsiderate body who are fallaciously supposed to look after the interests of the public. No longer can we think with O'Callaghan as he beheld the Academy of Music to which he „ was wont to revert, " Welcome, thrice wel- «' -come, ye venerable pile, where ever musing '- meditation dwells 1" The committee determined that the books should not become the spoil of their oppressors, gaye 1 ' a number of them to the Education Board, and the remnants were bartered at auction. The former were carried out in armsfull by the Chairman of the Education Board, who., for the nonce was walking literature personified. The rest were desecrated in the following style ;; — '•' 'Miss Pellew,' in two volumes, halfcalf. Who bids for Miss Pellew, half-calf? " The following has fallen into my hands :—: — 1 Ye muses and sages of dramatic lore, <. - Stretch forth your hands and join in requiem sad; New Plymouth's home for poetry is no more; Through lack of it her Fathers have gone • i mad. Y,e hosts of authors, historic, classic, great, Show not your phantoms on this shameful wreck; Your works had well deserved a better fate Than doomed by inquisition of a Council's beck. Ye bookworms, savans, slaves to erudition, Ye worshippers at Literary's shrine, Submit not to this cruel imposition, Kesuscitate the mind's lamp of the time. Ye patrons of science, art, and philosophy, Heed not this petty slur upon your fame; By precept and example undo their idle* sophistry, And Fancy's foolish boasting will bow to Learning's name. *» Waiters, are guilty of strange idiosyncraeies ag the following bill of fare, submitted at an hotel which shall be nameless, but situate close to New Plymouth, will show : — Soup. Kale. Entries. ' Komed beaf and Karrots; Eoste muttonandKabage; Fricasse. Pastry — Apel pie; rice puding. Sphinx.