THE WAYS OF THE WORLD.

Temuka Leader, Issue 1546, 24 August 1886, Page 2

THE WAYS OF THE WORLD.

I notice, that Mr Badbani is reported to have had a narrow escape from drowning. If Mr Badbam had fallen in mid ocean from ship or boat he would not hare been drowned. Another fate awaits him, I must decline Bill's Mate's invitation to join the confraternity, of which he appears to be the presiding genius, It is riot that I 8m very particular about the company I keep : a scion of the Hruso of O'Lanus can afford to do without putting on priggish airs. My . reason for declining is this : 1 notice that his banker has no great confidence in Bill's Mate, that be has received a reminder from this paper that it is time he. paid op his subscription, and Artisan says he contribated nothing towards the school concert. Thpso facts lad me to conclude that if I were to join the society I would be let in for all rxpenses, and as Ibe meetings are held in a public house I strongly suspect I would have to join the noble army of bankrupts in the end. A most extraordinary change has come over the ladies of Temuka recently. All of them, even the most demure and retiring, have becomo—well, I don't like to ssy it, but on my honor, thej have become most alluring, winsome, fascinating, and familiar all at once. I could not understand it for a time ; in fact it occurred to me that they had just come to see my personal merits all at once, until I was undeceived by half-a-dozen of them entering into competition for my contribution to the Volunteer bazaar. I was then able to grasp the situation ; I knew what a fool I was to think that they had suddenly, as if by mutual consent, regarded me as the object" of - their attention. Ibis brought me down a peg or two, it knocked a little of the conceit out of me, but still my native gallantrj never forFock me. I promised every one of tbem, because I have made it a rule of my life never to refuse a lady. They have all my-promises' and my good wishes, and they are quite welcome to tbem. And now, when I see a lady coming along, with a fascinating smile on her serene cbuntpnance'ftnd'-a medium sized reticule in her j find something todo on the other,side of lbe ; etreet. I think, it 'Sufficient to give six. promises, and six good wishes, for, in fact, 1 could not well afford more, J One thing is certain'now : military matters have received; a itremendous impetus in Temuka, because so sure as ; the ladies turn out so enthusiastically as this the men are bound to fly to their arms. 1 have just here a scrap of news that will interest Mr Gibson. Recently three Canadian gentlemen were walking along a road where some years before a railway lino was laid,: and trains ran regularly. They beard distinctly the rumble of an approaching train. It came nearer and nearer and : yet nothing was seen; As it came close to them all involuntarily jumped off the track, and the invisible, train passed them, going towards the beach, the sound growing fainter as it went on." The gentlemen were much frightened, anil ene was much overcome by the occurrence. He could not shake off the impression that had been left, and declared that he knew something terrible was going to happen. That afternoon he received a despatch from his friends in Montreal, telling him that hi 3 wife and only child had been killed by a railroad accident that vry afternoon. Now who will doubt spiritualism after this? When the spirit of a broken-down train goes roaming about on an old closed-up railway line like thit, who can doubt that the spirit of man lives and moves and has its being beyond the Jordan ? And then there was the phantom ship the Royal Princes saw, and there was the phantom canoe of Mount Tarawera. Ab I ye Stiff-necked generation of unbelievers, how can you get over these ? There it a story going the rounds about the Governor of New South Wales which is worth a place here. His Excellency was one day walking in the Zoo when a*' half-sprung " rustic accoßted him and asked him if he would shake hands with a working man. "Certainly," said His Excellency, " if you wish it." Whereupcc the grasp was effected. The 'orny-'anded. was evidently much astonished. He stood staring at vice*oyalty after the business was finished, quite overcome with viceregal condescension, then-slapped his thigh and exclaimed, "Carrington, you're a brick'." Carrington is a brick by nil accounts. There is not an accident occurs thai he does not personally visit the yictim of it. But tlieo he has nothing else to do. I have just discovered a brace of conilpiracies which 1 think it right to expose. jjJThe residents of Temuka have determined fro go up to near Mr Lyon's some fine [bight, cut away the embankment there, ijand let the river down the creek. By {this means they say they will save their lown town, and drown Arowhenua. On {the other hand a conspiracy is on foot in Arowhenua to cut the bank at the end of Cass street, and let down the river so [that it will sweep Temuka off th. 9 face of Hhe earth. I have refused to have anything to do with either plot. 1 Co»i O'Lanus.