A NEW ETIQUETTE

Taranaki Daily News, 30 September 1929, Page 11

A NEW ETIQUETTE

INDEPENDENT DAUGHTERS. “Gone are the days when a girl who was not married at 22 was considered to be hopelessly on the shelf, yet was not allowed to go out without a maid or to take a journey unchaperoned,” writes Lady Kitty Vincent in the London Daily Telegraph. “Nowadays girls are considered capable of looking after themselves at a very early age. Even if a daughter does not leave her home, she often leads her own life and does a good deal of entertaining. “Most mothers try to give their girls a separate sitting-room, where they can entertain their friends. This plan generally works well, but a daughter who lives at home should remember that, after all, it is her mother’s house, and that she owes her a certain amount of courtesy. In any case, it is a mistake for a girl to entertain men without first introducing them to her parents, and the average man would rather meet a young woman's relations before he begins taking her about to dances and theatres. “So greatly have things changed since pre-war days, that what is now considered absolutely natural would have been thought beyond the pale twenty years ago. I cannot imagine what my mother ymuld have thought if a young man had brought me home alone from a dance. Nor, incidentally, can I imagine what the young man would have thought of me for permitting such a thing. To go even further, neither can I imagine a young man existing who would have dreamed of suggesting such a course. So you can see that times have changed a good deal all round. “But since men do now bring girls home, there is a good deal to be said for. the father who, whenever a young man calls for his daughter, accompanies them to the doorstep and gives the girl the money for her taxis, so that the boy can see that there is no need for him to pay for them. Many men simply cannot afford to pay for a girl’s taxis. And it is far better that they should not do so, for it is putting the girl under a very strong obligation to her men friends, and it is simply not fair on a man who is earning his living. The system of coming home with .a chaperone was a sound one. At least a girl did preserve her independence, where in these days she has to rely upon casual acquaintances. “’Autres temps, autre . moeurs.’ There is no use cavilling” at the progress of events, but it is a great mistake for a girl to ’hunt’ men -in the way in which girls do. It is bad enough to be obliged to ask a man to accompany her to a dance, but it is absolutely ridiculous to beg and entreat him as so many girls do. When one is young it is difficult to see things in the right perspective, but there is no doubt that the shortage of men has made them far too much of a rara avis. “I suppose that if a girl is asked, to bring a partner she must make some, effort to find one. But the pendulum seems now to be swinging in the opposite direction, and hostesses prefer to ask their guests themselves. Also, it must be remembered that the war shortage has by now been made up, for the boys who were 16 when the war stopped are now 26, so there is really no need for girls to ‘hunt’ the men so persistently. “If your hostess does not mention that she wishes you to bring a partner you must on no account ask permission to' do so. A good hostess always sees that her guests consist of people who know each other or who are in the same circle.”