HUMOUROUS.

Colonist, Volume LVI, Issue 13485, 3 June 1914, Page 7

HUMOUROUS.

First Passenger: "I fancy your mother over there has a touch of seasickness ; perhaps you'd better look after her. Second Passenger: "Tiie lady is my mother-in-law." First Passenger: "A thou.sa.nd pardons,"

New Governess: "When I was yollr age I could answer any question in grammar."—Gladys: "Really? But, then, you had a different teacher."— "London Opinion."

"Of course, you have made some promises you didn't keep?"—" Yes," replied Senator Sorghum. "But I never yet broke a promise to a man without giving him a better one in its stead."

Lawyer: "Is the defendant in the habit of'drinking when he is alone?" Witness: "I really cannot say, sir. I was never with him when he was alone."

"Who gave the bride away?" "Her little brother, lie stood right up in the middle of the ceremony and yelled, "Hurrah! Fanny, . you've got him at last!" ':

An Irishman-who. w;■■::..to New York was met at Ellis Island by his brother Mike. The latter undertook to show Pat the sights of the city. At length they came to Chinatown. Pointing to a Chinese laundry, Mike said, "Look at that sign, Pat! Sure, an' ye niver saw the like o' that in Ireland! Can you read it?" '"No,! 3 replied Pat; "but, begorra, if I had me flute here I could play it."

An amusing story was told1 recently at the annual meeting of -the Actors' Orphanage Fund by Sir J. ForbesRobertson, who said that a sturdy youth once accosted Lady Bancroft with a long whining story. "Oh, lidy, won't you help me?" he said. "I'm only a poor orphan." Lady Bancroft, with her quick wit, looked up sharply, and said: "Where do your father and mother live?" , "Up this 'ere court, lidy," was the prompt response