MARRIAGE A DUTY—A PATENT SERMON.

Colonist, Issue 55, 30 April 1858, Page 3

MARRIAGE A DUTY—A PATENT SERMON.

text: Don't tell me you ".haven't got time," ' That other things claim your attention ; ■' There's hot the least reason or rhyme In the wisest excuse you can mention; . Don't tell me about " other fish,",: Your duty is done when you huy 'era, And you never will relish the dish, Unless you've a woman to fry'em. My hearers,—l have no doubt that after you have heard my discourse you will ask in your own minds whether your preacher has taken unto himself a wife, and is now luxuriating in the tall tsloyer ,of connubial bliss, that ° he preacheth thus., Therefore I answer beforetime,. No, but Lhave got measured for one, and expect to conjugate as soon as niy somewhat diverged rays of affection can be brought a little more to a focus through the' burning lens of love, I deem it the duty of all to get married their lifetime, at least.. It is but yielding obedience to the wise commands of nature.-Every gander has his goose, aad the

birds all mate at a proper season. Who ever heard of an old gander going down, to his grave goslingifiss, unless he was "prevented from fulfilling his destiny by the arbitrary customs of society'? It is God that tells the brute creation to nniltiply and replenish without the fuss and flummery of a long and tedious courtship ; they implicitly obey,/even to,the wood louse. The same God also tells you to marry, and do. the best you can: to be fruitful; but you don't always do it. You frame some paltry excuse or other —such as, "I have other fish_to fry,"" too busy to think of it now," " circumstances will not permit at present," "I will think of it by and by," &c.; and so you trudge on through the wide world alone, from the meridian of manhood to the sunset of age, without having effected the object for which you were placed upon earth, and of no more use than the fifth wheel of a coach, a moon in the daytime, a lock without a key, or a saddle and no horse to ride.

Young man, if you have arrived at the right point of life for it, let every other consideration give way to that of getting married. Don't think of, anything else. Keep poking about among the rubbish of the world till you have stirred up a gem worth possessing, in the shape of a wife. Never think of delaying the matter; for delays, as well as wild boars, are dangerous. A good wife is the best, most faithful companion .you can possibly have by your side while performing, the "journey of life—a dog isn't a touch to.her.. She can "smooth your linen and your cares", for you; mend, your trousers, and perchance'your manners; sweeten your sourer .moments, as well as your tea and coffee, for you; ruffle, perhaps, your shirt bosom, but hot your temper; and, instead of sowing the seeds of sorrow in your path, she will sew buttons on ycur shirts, and plant happiness instead of harrow-teeth in your bosom., Yes ; and if you are too confoundedly lazy, or too proud, to do such work yourself, she will carry swill to the hogs, chop wood, and dig potatoes for dinner: her love for her husband is such that she will do anything to please him—except receive company in her every-day clothes. When a woman loves, she loves with a double-distilled devotedness; and when she hates, she hates on the high pressure principle. Her love is as deep as the ocean, as strong as a hempen halter, and as immutable as the rock of ages. She won't change it, except it is in a very strong fit of jealousy,—and even then it lingers, as if loth to part, like evening twilight at the windows of the west. Get married by all means. AH the excuses you can fish up against " doing the deed "■ arn't worth a spoonful of pigeon's milk. Mark this : if, blest with health and employment, you're unable to support a wife, depend upon it, you are not capable of supporting yourself. Therefore, so much more need of annexation ; for in union, as well as in an onion, there is strength. Get married, I repeat, young man ! Concentrate your affections upon one object, and don't distribute them, crumb by crumb, among a host of Susans, Maries, Elizas, Betseys, Peggies, and Dorothies—allowing each scarcely enough to nibble at. Get married, and have somebody to cheer you up as you journey through this " lowly vale of teare "—somebody to scour up your dull, melancholy moments, and keep your Whole life, and whatever linen you possess, in some sort of Sunday-go-to-meeting order.

Young women! I need not tell you to look out for a husband, for I know that you are fixing contrivances to catch one, and as naturally on the swatch as a cat for a mouse. But one word in you'ear; if you please. Don't bait your hook with an artificial fly of beauty; if you do, the chances are ten to one that you will catch a gudgeon, some silly fool of a fish that isn't worth his weight in sawdust. Array the inner lady with' the. beautiful garlands of virtue, modesty, truth, morality, wisdom, unsophisticated love, and you will dispose of yourself quicker, and to much better advantage, than you would if you displayed all the gew-gaws, flipperjigs, fol-de-rols, and fiddle-de-dees in the universe. Piemember, it is an awful thing to live and die a self-manufactured old maid.

My hearers—-divide off into couples, sexually, as soon as possible, if you would add considerable to your own happiness, and a little to posterity.. Your days upon earth are but short at the longest, and they should be passed as righteously and pleasantly as the weather, and circumstances will permit. Get married while young; and then, when the frosts of age shall fall and wither the flowers of youthful affection, the leaves of connubial love will still be green ; and, perchance, a joyous offspring will surround and grace the parent tree, like ivy entwining and adorning the time-scathed oak. So mote it be \—Tyrone Constitution: