WIT AND HUMOUR

Te Awamutu Courier, Volume 53, Issue 3842, 4 December 1936, Page 3

WIT AND HUMOUR

MARKING TIME. Strong language (was filling the air as a short-tempered sergeant drilled a particularly awkward squad of recruits. “Mark time, there!” yelled the redfaced N.C.O. “You in the rear rank —mark time!” “Shall I mark timb with my feet?” asked the offender meekly. “Of course!” howled the sergeant. “Did you ever hear of marking time with hands?” “Yes, sir,” was the still meeker reply. “Clocks do it!” ACCOUNTS FOR IT. A man who was new to golf turned to his caddie and said: “I say, why couldn’t that fellow get his ball into the hole?” “He was stymied, sir,” was the ply“He was what?” “He was stymied, sir.” “Oh, was he?” replied the other. “I thought he looked a bit queer at lunch.”—“Pathfinder.” NOT INDIGESTION. Two friends who had not met for a long time sat in a restaurant talking. “How is old Snaggs, the company promoter, getting on?” inquired one. “Oh, he’s not been feeling very well lately,” was the reply. “He has to keep to a very strict diet—just a little of certain food.” “What’s wrong with him?” queried the other. “Indigestion? Insomnia?” “No. In prison.” / TSK! TSK! The teacher had made an appeal to the children in her kindergarten class to bring old clothing for the flood sufferers. Bobbie hurried home and said: “Mother, teacher wants us to bring our old clothes for the blood sucker?!.” THE HECKLER IS HECKLED. An eloquent politician was interrupted by a man in the crowd, who would shout, “Liar!” After about the twentieth repetition, the speaker paused and fixed his eye on his tormentor. “If the gentleman who persists in interrupting,” he saitj, “will be good enough to tell us his name, instead of merely shouting out his profession, I am sure we shall be pleased to make his acquaintance.”