TALK ABOUT TOWN.

Samoa Times and South Sea Gazette, Issue 45, 10 August 1878, Page 2

TALK ABOUT TOWN.

There'* a chiel amang to takia' notes, AuJ faith h.j'U preut them."

When that wise man Solomon said here was nothing new under the sun, he vidently hadn't heard of the Samoa Government, and the way official questions are asked and answered by that august assembly. Early last week a meeting was held at Mulinuu, when several questions were asked of " the scribe Mamea " by one Tuiatafu, the principal speaker of the Tuamasaga at the Government meetings. Q.: " Can the Samoans now : live without fear of THE OTHER great nations ?" Of courso this question implies I that Samoa is a great nation. Good for Tuiatafu. A.: "If you are wicked the Americans will not protect you." There | is a .straightforward, sensible answer for vou. Q.: " Have not Soumanutafa and Toomalatai the sole right to Apia harbour ?" A.: " No, for was it not the Government who appointed Hamilton to be pilot" Now, oan anybody about town tell me what in the name of thunder the appoiutmont of Mr. Hamilton as pilot has to do with the proprietary of the Apia harbour. Again, Q.: " Will Bamoa be able to hold her own as one of the great nations ?" Still harping on the " great nation " string. Really the impudence and conceit of these peoplo is astonishing. A.: "Be easy, he quiet." This answor reminds me of the London street arab, who, on being threatened to be " punchod " by an irate porter whom he had been chaffing, coolly remarked, " Now be quiet there's a good boy; run away and play George, there's a good boy !" But now comes the crowning touch of all. Q.: " Do the great nations recognise Samoa ?" A.: "We have written to all great nations." Tuiatafu :"It is good. Listen 0 ye people, do not backbite the Government, for we are now enlightened'" Heavens ! Enlightened as to what ? If the Tuamasaga can derive any enlightenment, or see one grain of Bense in the answers of Mamea, they arc a wonderfully clover peoplo. They ought to be put in a glass case and exhibited as men who can read ar.d understand tho most enigmatical replies that ever fell from the lips of a Government official. It is a pity these people didn't give us further evidence of their powers. They might have gone on thus : Q,. : Do you think England will make a treaty with us ? A.: The wind blows strong from the south-east. Q.: How arc the Government going to pay Mr. Colmesnil's claim ? A.: Ihe moon is on tho wane, and will soon be behind the hill. Q.: Is General Bartlett to be quietly shelved by the Government ? A.: Hist, don't make a noise. Six and four are ten. Etc., etc. Ad. lib.

On Thursday morning the Adams returned with the pieeious American Consul. It is said that coming events cast their shadows before. I don't know whether this is applicable to dreams; but I bad such a curious one last night that I cannot refrain from relating it. I fancied that I was in the lower regions, and while engaged in conversation with the proprietor, over a glass of whisky hot and a jolly good cigar, an imp aunottneed that Mr. American Consul from hauioa was at the door desiring admission. Old Ni a promptly and emphatically refused iHiu admission without a passport, whereupon the gentleman produce i a copy of •' My Danish Days." Old Nick replied that he could not admit aim as iii vould be continually disturbing the | mm and order of the place, and as to ■■ M. iMuish Days," his Satanic Maj'-sty wj certain that he could not read the \ in in without becoming sick unto death, i aereforo he must get. The imp v hi ie. o-ic.l saying that the ex- ■ tailor insisted on coming in. declaring | that he had no other place to go to. I After much deliberation, old Nicks face suddenly brightened with anew idea and he exclaimed, " I've got it. Tell tho ! Janitor to give liini six bushels oi brimstone and a box of matches, and let him go and start a little place of his own." 1 have been all the week puzzling my wooden head to find out the meaning of " MK." prefixed to Mamea's name. I cannot make anything more than Muclv out of it, but I am open to give a handsome prize to the best exponent of the riddle. In the na ne of tho prophet ami the cook, I ask my generous readers to !send their communications to me, care of tho Editor of tho Samoa Times. The prize for the best answer will be—well, I'll tell you bye and bye. Know ye all men by these presents), &c, that Mamea has not applied to the captain of tho Wave of Life for the billet of cook anil steward. The rumour is false and malicious—inasmuch as it is generally believed by those who know, that Mamea is not a fit cook for any white man—except, perhaps Griffin. Dame Nature is evidently more disposal to do honour to the American Consul, than his country's war ship Adams. At 20 minutes past eleven on Thursday morning Consul Griffin landed, and, on finding that the Adams did not waste powder on a salute, Dame Nature, at 29 minutes and 31 £ seconds past eleven saluted tho U. S. representative by a slight ahock of earthquake. How's that for high t Cyril.