Shaun’s Patch

Southland Times, Issue 21831, 7 October 1932, Page 8

Shaun’s Patch

A little nonsense now end then X* relished by the wUcst men. —Hudlbru.

It is surprising that, Mr de Valera, holding the views he does, could be expected to give the King sound advice. Alimony: A domestic war debt. Even the pessimist is an optimist. He is sure his predictions will be justified. * » * » Well, the United States must cancel so she cansel. These people who want tea cupreading legalized evidently believe there’s something in it. EDUCATIONAL AIDS. Give a sentence containing the word “freezing”: “You can have a freezing at the community concert.” * * * * The farmer’s turnover: Ploughing. * ♦ » ♦ A famous jockey said recently that a horse shows his displeasure by snorting, and one writer commented: “In other words, his nose noes.” But he should have added: “And he knows his nose noes.” There is one person who can smile when everything round him is going wrong. Yes, the caddie. * « * * Yes, and this rain has meant unfair competition with those people who were selling water. * » » ♦ “Has this mule kicked you before?” Ask the spectator, earnest and kind, And he isn’t quite sure what was meant By “Not kicked me before, but. ... ” * ♦ ♦ 4= An American has just patented a new type of nose-bag for horses. That’s nearly as good as buying a typewriter for Shakespeare. The man who says he wants a wife who is young, pretty and a good cook is an anachronism. * * » » The brass-voiced bounder who sways the ignorant mob is an orator if he happens to be on your side. * ♦ ♦ » One of those slick Americans has succeeded in crossing a cabbage and an onion, but he has still to mate the hybrid with corned beef. * * « * Babies cry as soon as they enter the world. Can you blame them? * * « « A chap named Voliva in U.S.A., used to declare the world was flat. Well, this depression has nearly convinced many people. • * « * CONSOLATION. We must part for ever now, Dearest, you and I, One will shed a bitter tear, One will deeply sigh. One will bear an aching heart Smitten recently, One will long to die, but, dear, That one won’t be me.