VAGRANT VERSE

Southland Times, Issue 19238, 8 May 1924, Page 4

VAGRANT VERSE

SANDY McPHERSON AT THE DEMONSTRATION. (Written for the Southland Times). ’Twas th’ last day o’ th’ autumn, in th’ * year o’ twenty-four, At a wee toon ca’d Orawia, forty miles awa’ or more I was spierin’ what was a’ th’ crowd as we birl’d doon that way “Hoots, toots, ye gowk,” Davie, “its oor demonstration day.”

Says I: “A demonstration is't o’ win’, or hail, or rain?” For th’ toon was in obscurity as th' storm swept owre th’ plains. But Davie aye sae modest, said, “a wheen o’ us ’ll try Tae expand on the anotomy o’ a gimmer, horse or kye.”

’Twas a Fairmers’ Union notion tae draw th’ folks th’gither A’ things arranged maist carefully they lippen’d tae th’ weather; But Odin, in a fickle mood, poured vengeance on us a' An’ when his wrath grew unco fierce, we gaed owre tae th’ ha’.

Maister Sim, th’ fairmers’ (spokesman, first gied a short discourse Then he ca’d on Maister Ewen tae tell how tae breed a horse. John tell us a’ guid breeders aye kept plenty in the crib, But be carefu’ gin yer matin’ no tae breed them unco squib.

An’ then we’d Rabbie Kennedy, wi’ his knowledge o’ th’ ring, Wha’ showed th’ most important points on a mear brocht in by King. Guid feet are maist essential, bane maun be clean, an’ flat — Tho’ a wee short i’ th’ pasterns, she’s no a bad bit beastie that.

An’ next we had th’ thoroughbred expounded frae a chart, Th’ guid points on’ th’ bad anes, were explained at ilka part. This brocht honours for Otautau, for Williamson, th’ vet., Quoted frae a speech by Cafbine just afore th’ Rand wick Plate.

Th’ horses noo were by wi’t an' we reached th’ bovine race, When Anderson said shorthorns wad aye tak’ th’ foremost place, But Geordie frae Otago says, an’ my fegs, I think he’s right, “Gin yer bent on smashin’ records ye maun gang for Black and White.”

Frae Spar Bush, ane cad Davie, doon ithers throat wad threep Gin yed no be dubbed a bankrupt, aye keep Southland Romney sheep. An’ th’ bonnie clean-faced Leicester, wha’s expounder wasna leal, But ane Kennedy frae Drummond set oot th’ points gey week

Then we’d a speech on meat control frae Maister Hamilton WLile Buxton talked o’ Union, an’ sae did Anderson. We’d advise frae Otahuti ay an’ Mac could tell it well— Aye when ye hae tws flounder, keep th sma’ ane tae yersel’.

Noo th’ maist important item, an’ I’m shair ye’ll a’ agree, Was th’ presence o’ th’ ladies wi their rate guid cup o’ tea. We micht forget th’ weather, tho’ it sairly us derided But we’ll no’ forget th’ ladies an’ th’ guid things they provided. —Anon. May 3, 1924.