The Noisy Dinner

Southland Times, Issue 12012, 17 December 1907, Page 1 (Supplement)

The Noisy Dinner

In his autobiography, now runninb in the North American Review, Mark Twain tells a good story of a dinner party at which he was a guest.; It was a bright and jolly party, he says, and it followed the fashion. Everyone talked to his neighbour, and the hum of conversation grew gradually in strength until everyone was shouting to make himself heard. Mark contemplated the rout for a minute or two and then declared to the lady beside him that ho would “ silence the racket.” ” You must tilt your head towards mine," he said, “ and seem to be deeply interested in what I am saying. I will talk in a low voice c then, just because our neighbours won’t be able to hear me, they will want to hear me. If I mumble long enough—say two minutes —you will see that the dialogues will one alter another come to a standstill, and there will be silence, not a sound anywhere, but my mumbling.” The plan worked well enough, and Mark Twain commenced to tell the lady the story of another dinner party at which there was a deaf man who spoke every nowj and then In a very loud voice. On the other side of the table a man was relating a very thrilling tale in a subdued voice and Mark was striving to catch every work of it. " I heard him say,” he proceeded. ” At this point he seized her by her long hair—she shrieking and begging —bent her neck across his knee, and with one awful sweep of his razor—’ \t this point came an interruption from the deaf man, ‘How do you lite Chicago ?’ ” The din in the diningroom had died down as Mark had prophesied. Every diner was striving to hear the interesting story that was telling Xo the lady, and m the midst of the impressive pause the jester yelled out the deaf man s ques 4 lion. The guests nearly jumped out of their chairs. When they were calm again Murk coolly told them of his trick and apparently they took the lesson to heart. He begged them to ,ot one person talk at a time. They agreed and let him do the talking t; and. lie concludes, /T never had a better time in my life.”-