HOW AN ALHAMBRA WAS OPENED IN INVERCARGILL.

Southland Times, Volume 2, Issue 96, 2 October 1863, Page 2

HOW AN ALHAMBRA WAS OPENED IN INVERCARGILL.

Bt Gixm a. ■outside. ; It was a nice sort of night — abundance < moonshine, and no dogs howling at it **>. tb town, was looking almost pretty uadeo* th influence of the silvery, &c. ; even the lamj. posts aped the romantic in a gaunt watchful ness. I, moi gui vous parte, h9.i- turned out i< * purposeless way ; driven forth from a popi* lar Cafe by the vapors of stewed steak witl onions, and the incessant' wearying cry o <*• Gup of tea rettrns.'' Ruminating hai jsadly, and yawning wholly, I put to mysel (tract; fashion) the query, what shall I 'do not exactly tovbe saved, but meantime to bamused. No Egeria or society for the dif fusion of Christian knowledge condescendinj to enlighten me, I lit* cigar, notaltogethe cabbage- leaf, *:and -strolled lazily up«th< uneasy gratings of that streej; which somi early enthusiast in the cause of salmon accli matisation has called after the grilse teeming Tay. There were not many . people t< stare at. A few men hanging about witl bundles tied-up in handkerchiefs, which, as it was Saturday, I concluded to be "washing;" and these, with a late nursemaid oi two who looked frightened in the anticipation of a scolding from "-Missus," were all. I strolled slowly on, gazing in at the shopwindows with an absent inten tness that evidently aroused the suspicions of the policeman on the beat. I passed the entrance to the Arcade, and an idea came to me— a soothing idea, a wicked idea, a strong temptation — it was oysters. Oysters ! oysters at 7 p.m. — heresy of heresies — "where do you expect to go to :*' whispered my better angel. Well it was scarcely judicious, scarcely consistent with either high toned morality or healthy digestion ; so turning a deaf ear to the unwise charmer, I le'ffc behind me with a sigh the succulent " Shells of Ocean," and that gloomy policeman, who had by this time thoroughly made up his mind that somehow I "didn't ought to was." Moving on a litt'e more rapidly, I crossed the street by a sort of bridal track, that led through ways calculated to break the heart of Warren or any other man whose philanthropy -takes the form of blacking. I reached the opposite grating in comparative cleanliness, rested a moment to recover ftom the fatigues of the passage, and was then about to set forth in the exploration of the unhappy hunting grounds that lie to the farEast, when clang, clang just behind me metallically banged a bell, that had better not to have been borne, unless it had known better days. I started as if stung by a New Zealand sand -fly. Vague visions of Dickens' "Chimes" taken with sudden rheumatism, Coupled with <•* the haunted man," not to mention the newly invented theatric ghost, crowded upon my troubled brain. I looked fearfully at an adjacent Grecian Bank— not the one where the wild thyme grows — faced right-about in a style that would have ensured a commission iv the Auckland Militia, and confronted a shadowy but wide-a-wake figure, which shaking at me in an •• Id'-like-to-see-you-ds-it'' fashion, a roll of apparently old Roman Papyrus, uttered, in deep sepulchral tones, the following dreadful sentence': "Now — then — all — you — roll up— the performance is — hahout to commence — be bin time — ter — see — the world famyous — Miss Hamelia Tighter-r-ropes ; clang, clang, clang and clang." It was then no communication from the Unseen world— no voice from the catacombs, but a sober, stern, guttural reality — a simple announcement of a public representation. Seized with another idea, I approached him of the lung 3, and eagerly asked the nature of the entertainment and its locality. Regarding me with the utmost pity for my ignorance, he pointed over his shoulder and said, " Sir, its the hopenin of the Halambra, and you see as 'ow Miss Tighter-r-ropes 'as been engaged to sing and dance ; and there's to be a ffcee and'' — clang, clang, clang, the dreadful man began to wave about his bull with increased violence, much to. the delight of a small crowd of moleskin men. There was an end to my aimless lounge. I saw before me a mission ; I had been specially called. Yes, I would penetrate to this abode of harmony ; I would renew my Moorish impressions ; I thought of Washington Irving and the Abencerages ; I thought of Leicester Square and heavy wet, and plunged through an "alley" so impulsively as to nearly upset a venerable woman with an umbrella, to whom I apologised with, the respect-due to the possible mother of the charming and much sung of " Sally." Arrived at the end of the passage, there was no difficulty in discovering the object of nay •search. A long building, with many brightly lighted windows stretched to the left ; under each window were piles of wood, and upon them stood " dark masses of men," some flattening their noses against the panes, and others laughing with a hysteria, that savored of lunacy. From the interior of the building, came ever and again shouts, furious enough to suggest the presence of a tiibe of native warriors, in full war paint ; and these were succeeded at intervals by the fretful strains of a piano, that might have once been tuned. I heaved a sigh, the appearance of the place certainly was not Saracenic; it was all up with Granada, even Leicester Square was nowhere- but, courage, mon ami I—(Cheerup Sam!) who knows, there might still be balm in Gilead. How about " the heavy wet?'' I went hopefully in the direction of the door, where a number of men were violently treading upon each others heels, battering each others hats, and fighting their way towards an aperture, through which I caught a glimpse of a distant stage, the upraised bow of a fiddle, a pair of spectacles, a tray ful of glasses suspended in mid-air, a round face, with turned back hair, and a couple of ancles encased in tartan stockings, whirling about, as if inflicted with St. Vitus' dance. I saw no more ; I had got involved in the crowd; my heels too were being trodden upon; my hat, was being battered. I could scarcely breathe ; there was the steaminess of a Turkish bath. I was jammed against the wall -, I was sworn at by a-ltniner ; I was lifted from the ground ; I was thrown against a green baize door ; I was squeezed within an inch of suffocation, and finally launched upon a small man in ear-rings, who, fierce of gesture, and rough of speedi, did duty at the inside portals of the Invercargill Alhambra. (To be- continued.)