CLEVEDON.

Pukekohe & Waiuku Times, Volume 7, Issue 367, 12 April 1918, Page 4

CLEVEDON.

RIP VAN WINKLE ON « GREATNESS."

" Sleepyhollow is a great township," said Dora. I was drinking my tea and nearly dropped the cup and after I had recovered from a violent fit of choking I snid, " Dora, how many times must I remind you that I have a weak heart and that sudden shocks may cause my untimely end. Also, I wish you had more respect for the truth."

" Oh ! its quite true," said she, " I heard it at the dance last night and the speaker was sure it waa right."

" Perhaps if you give me particulars," I said, " I may be able to understand this bold assertion."

" Well," said Dora, " It was a welcome home, you know, to the returned soldiers and a farewell to those going, and there were speeches and things and one speaker told us we were all present and why we had come. I was glad to find I was there as there were some boys outside who weren't all there, or at least it sounded as though only the horrid noisy part of them was there, yon know." " Yen! I know," I replied, "they generally attend the picture show on Saturdays ; but go on with the tale." " Then another speaker got his turn," she continued," and he told it all over again and then he said he had made a great discovery and it was that Sleepyhollow vas 'Great.' He said ' Some places were born great, some acquired greatness and some had greatness thrust upon them. Sleepyhollow was in the first class, it was born great.' I heard someone by me say ' Thank heaven it wasn't twins.' Then he went on to say that Sleepyhollow could trace its existence back to goodness knows where and someone else near me said ' Probably back to Noah's time,' and 'he wondered if poor old Noah was present.' Now what did he mean," asked Dora ?

" Weli," I answered, " you ask the guide next time you go up Mount Brown and no doubt he will explain. Just remember that though Sleepyhollow may be a great place, that little tin thing you rub nutmegs on is a grater. But proceed." " Don't try to be funny," said Dora, " because we ought all to be crying and running to meet trouble with our fingers in our mouths." " Well! Going about with your finger in your own mouth is better than poking your nose into someone else's soup," I said.

'• Oh ! Do be quiet and let me speak," said Dora, " You keep butting in and putting me off. Let me see; oh yes ! Then another nice bright cheerful speaker got up on his hind legs and tried to make us all feel merry and bright by telling us what a hard time we were going to have soon—very, very soon— how we would all be starving and weeping and gnashing the gold fillings in our teeth. He said we ought to save our pennies and be prepared. He was so strong on economy that oue of the lamps fainted and bad to be taken out for a drink. It was a disappointment too the way it was done. One of the gentlemen brought a nice little stepladder in and placed it in the middle of the floor. It was one of those ladders .with nice little steps up one side and down the other, like they have for the performing dogs and we thought he was going to give us a show, but he only climbed up and took the beastly old lamp out." "Doia," I said, " please be more choice in your language, you are not at a Cave meeting at present." "Oh ! It's all right," said she, " I've heard you say worse things than that when you—"

" There ! There ! That is sufficient," I said, " You were talking about the lamp going out." "So they took it out and filled it up. Why did'nt they do it before the dance ?" asked she.

" I suppose Thomas must have been trying to save oil," I remarked, " possibly he is saving up for his War Bonds."

" Perhaps," said Dora, " he was too busy wondering whether the Hall Committee knew carbide could again be bought in the city; or perhaps he had gone to the cave to waken them up." " Perhaps so," I remarked, "but how about the dancing ?"

''Oh! The dance was a peach," she answered, " we had good music and a boy to stand on a big box which covers the picture man's engine and he thumped the box with a stick at intervals. The first time we heard him we thought it was a late comer in a Ford car, only there was no rattle—only the bang, bang. But we had a real good time dancing and in between dances the men went out and sat amongst the lumber in the store-entrance-cloak room, where you go in ; and the ladies sat on each others knees, as the seats were all full ; and the boy outside sat on the box and banged it when anyone saog a song, and once we thought ho had fallen off and broken his neck and we laughed, but it was a false alarm. And we had a real good supper and came away ahout two g.m. " And didn't any of the soldiers say anyth—" "Oh yes ! A nice little man in uniform got up and gave us to understand they were ' not downhearted,' and wanted to shove all the croakers into his old kit-bag and laugh at them," said Dora. " You mean," I explained, " that he used a quotation from a popular song, " Pauk up your troubles in your old kit-bag and smile, smile, buiile." "Yes! That's what I said is'nt it," said Dora, " but there's that beastly cat at the milk again,'' and slia tied to correct the erroneous ways of the feline member of the household. RIP VAN WINKLE.